On a recent trip to the grocery store, something really enraged me: Two different parents let their kids, who were sitting in the shopping cart, eat an item from the bulk section of the bakery department.
Whatever happened to teaching delayed gratification? Why didn’t the parents stuff some snacks in their diaper bag prior to leaving the house? And if I’m hungry and feel like a chocolate croissant, why can’t I grab one off the shelf and start nibbling away as I shop?
Before I had the chance to confront these parents with the “How dare you teach your kids to steal!” or “Oh, now I know who’s responsible for driving up some of these prices!”, I got distracted by something, a.k.a. my bf held me back and told me to cool it.
Looking back on the situation, I am glad that I got “distracted” from any potential confrontation. After all, maybe the people will give the cashier an itemised list of all the things that their kids consumed and ask them to be added to their bill?
That is at least my hope for humanity.
I totally agree with you- these parents are essentially stealing from the store. It is not okay if I walk around eating something, why should it be okay for you to give it to your children? Reading this actually reminded me of an article I read in the Globe and Mail called “Why is it single people who get stuck working weekends?” It speaks about how a single person is treated in the workforce compared to someone with a child.
http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/relationships/love/dating/why-is-it-single-people-who-get-stuck-working-weekends/article2064112/
totally agree with this. Parents need to feed them before getting to the grocery store. As well as adults who graze the fresh fruits to see if they like them. This is stealing. Buy first taste later…
At the end of the day consumers with kids will ended up spending more than a single or childless couple in a drug store or supermarket. There’s more impulse purchasing in comparison to shut the kids up.
I am sure they did. I have seen adults do this w/o kids as well. Chill.
How do you know that the parents didn’t say, oh, the kids ate a donut, so please add that to the bill.
Until checkout, you don’t know what their intention is, really. IF I were to do that with my kids, which I never have, but IF, I would make sure at the checkout that the kids were paying attention when I told the cashier to add it to the bill, so they knew we paid for the item.
agree with bambinoitaliano
My kids regularly eat in the grocery store. And I make sure to pay for it. Always. It sounds like maybe you want an excuse for a free lunch.
Let me guess. Cookies? Many stores will give your kids a free cookie from the bakery department. It’s actually pretty smart. If your kids are content for an extra five minutes that’s an extra five minutes where you will be throwing more things into your cart.
I often grab a box of crackers and open it up for my almost 2 year old, which I then, of course, pay for.
Chill out…you dont know if the parents paid for it at checkout, right? You must not have kids cause you know how hard it is getting through a grocery store. The grocery stores know what they’re doing by putting things at eye levels for kids to want them. They make the kids want these things like crazy.
Yeah, I do this often enough, unfortunately mostly to shut the kids up so they’ll let me complete my shopping. But I have not done it with something that does not scan and is based on weight. I did, however, did it once with an apple, I just took another apple and told the cashier to charge me twice for it.
Regardless of whether the parents perhaps paid at the counter or not, UNTIL they have PAID for the item, it wasn’t theirs to give their child to eat! I agree with the original poster. Dollars to donuts, not EVERY parent pays for their kids “snacks” in store. Buy, *then* eat. Period.
My mum and dad used to do this all the time, they would open multi packs of chips, and pop and give them to us while they shopped and then paid for it at the register, they would simply ring up the empty bag / partially empty bag.
My kids always ask me for meat when we go to the deli, and almost always the deli person gives me a “free” slice for the kids. I think that’s a great way to say thank you for shopping in their store not to mention here’s what amounts to about 10 cents for the $5.00 worth of deli meat you just bought. If I happen to open the meat that I ordered at the deli while we are shopping so they can snack on it, I always make sure I don’t destroy the barcode so that there are no problems scanning it come check out. I ALWAYS carry snacks for my kids when we go to the grocery store but now that they know the routine of getting meat from the deli and then a cookie at the bakery they seldom ask for the snacks that I am bringing. Sure there are people who open stuff up for the their kids and then dump it in a random aisle, but I think people like me and other posters prior to me outweigh those making a bad rap for us parents with children who get hungry the second they walk through the door of a supermarket.
Even if the parent pays for the item in the end, its still not very good practice of etiquette. I have witnessed kids opening up food in the store before consulting with parents. I would be livid if one of my kids did that. I always bring my own snacks from home to prevent this type of thing from happening.
I’ve seen a lot of people eating candy bars and then bring the wrapper to the cashier to scan for payment. I know they do pay for the items, but I still judge them. Can you really not wait for 15 minutes? It reminds me of the Standford Marshmallow Experiment in the 70s, testing delay gratification and will power. Those 5-year-olds who waited grew up to be more successful, happier and healthier.
From my observation, my friends who would eat before paying do more drugs, they are emotionally unstable and unhappy(one tried suicide), very poor in relationships. So when I see parents let their kids eat before paying, I just can’t help thinking they are paving a life of weak-willed and unhappy children.
Parents often say it’s because I don’t have kids, I don’t understand how hard it is. But no one says parenting is easy. It’s a life style choice you have chosen, please try doing it well.
As someone with an impatient kid, I have cracked open a box of crackers in the store and had the cashier scan the open package. Not my favorite thing to do but desperate times call for desperate measures.
We also always visit the bakery for a free cookie club cookie (most stores offer this: Safeway, Superstore, Sobeys.) However, these are distributed by staff – not to grab from the bulk bins. Personally, I wouldn’t let my kids grab and eat something straight from the bulk bin as it doesn’t seem right (no evidence at the cash register).
I do this myself and with my 15 month old son, we often give him snacks or even bread in the grocery store, and i always keep the package or plu to add to the bill. As long as i plan to pay for it i don’t see any reason this is wrong. (i used to work loss prevention) For it to be theft you have to make an attempt to take it without paying for it. So until you have left the store without paying it is not theft.
I think maybe the hope for humanity should be that we don’t assume the worst of people and get all worked up and blog about it!
I bring my own snacks for my 2 & 4 year old in my purse for every grocery store trip – because kids always want to eat when surrounded by food. Parent or not, people should pay for what they eat/purchase. I personally wouldn’t feel comfortable eating something before I paid for it, but I wouldn’t be upset if someone else did it – just as long as they pay for it before they leave obviously.
YOUR KIDS REGULARLY EAT AT THE GROCERY STORE? Why not be a parent and feed them at home? And teach them that this is no appropriate? And teach them that in life, you have to wait sometimes. No wonder we are raising a generation of spoiled, entitled brats! Kids eating at the grocery store, kids riding bikes at Walmart, parents who think that a grocery store is a restaurant, and a retail store is a playground. Amazes me. TEACH THEM SOME RESPECT AND APPROPRIATENESS, SOME MANNERS – THEY WON’T BE TRAUMATIZED BY THE WORD “NO” AND THEY WILL BE MORE PREPARED FOR THE FUTURE!
I argued this very thign on the forum months and months ago… it’s shcoking wha some ppl think.. that it’s OKAY to do that! Ay!
I think that the practice of giving kids food that hasn’t been paid for yet is disgusting, even if you are planning to pay for it later. Sadly, this is society now… get everything you want right away, and worry about paying for it later. That’s why everyone has so much debt – oh you can’t afford that new TV oh well we have this shiny credit card for you (at 21% interest) so you can have it NOW, why wait? Parents are now perpetuating this with their kids. I sure as hell didn’t get to eat anything at the store before it was paid for, and I didn’t suffer. Teach your kids some damn patience, maybe society will be better for it in the end.
This is the least you need to be worried about in our society!
I think people dont understand other peoples situations here. We drove 2 hours to get to a grocery store, once a week so by the time we left we had no food, and given that kids are kids and my sister had a sugar disorder my parents would give us things as they shopped because the shopping trip was usually an all day ordeal from start to finish, which is a lot for kids to deal with.
Iam guilty of doing this. It keeps the kids happy, so why not. I always keep all the wrappers of things they ate and have the cashier scan it. I have never been told we cant do it..i always pay for everything. They like taking those yogurt drinks..lol and it keeps them busy for my shopping trip, i keep the empty bottle and pay for it.
My mom used to give my sisters and I a snack from the Bakery department everytime we went on a long shopping trip in a grocery store. She ALWAYS paid for the items when she got to the till and she didn’t steal them. I think your rant was a little ridiculous and if another person parents differently than you, thank goodness! I wish you did confront her because you would have been embarrased and frankly I would have thought you were crazy if I was on the receiving end. I knew I couldn’t ride a bike through the store, or eat everything off the shelves as a kid so it’s not the gateway to become a horrible person of society. Parent your child properly and you’ll be just fine.
am sure u r not a parent to make your false accusation, i hope i would never come across someone like you in the store, i have kids and i never leave my house hungry for shopping but it is nearly impossible for the kids to stay calm infront of all these temptations cookies,etc..
so chill and i think you need to put yourself in other people’s shoes before preaching them!
Cashiers shouldn’t be forced to handle your open, messy packaging, open drinks with your germs all over the lid, or whatever you gave your kid to drool on as you walked around the store. Bring something to occupy your kid. What if something happened and the debit card machine was down and that was all you had…or an emergency happened and you had to rush out of the store. You don’t consume what you haven’t paid for unless you’re at a restaurant.
I am not currently a mother, by choice. HOWEVER, if I had a child I would never grab a danish off the shelf in order to shut them up!
As a parent, I would suffer through their whining in order to teach them that sometimes…you hafta wait.
sometimes if i feel shakey like a drop in blood sugar i do grab a little something from the store but I will ALWAYS pay for it by advising the cashier by giving them the wrapper along with an explanation of why i felt i needed to eat something. I think many parents might give their children maybe something also but then tell the cashier. I just can not imagine parents knowingly teaching their children that it is ok to steal. ( unless of course you were my parents, but i won’t go into that lol ).
If the store manager has no problem with it, then I guess it would be okay to do it. I think it’s poor etiquette, though. We bring snacks from home for the kids in case they become antsy, but if they still want more, they have to wait until it’s been paid in full. It is still the property of the store until it has been paid for.
@r0c0upons
Yah, but the cashiers should have to handle your filthy money that you kept in your front pocket with your snot rag, has been handled by multiple people who don’t wash their hands after taking a dump?
I am a parent of three kids (five, three and 16 months). My two oldest are reactive hypoglycemic and so they have to eat every few hours or their blood sugar bottoms out. When I do any shopping with them I usually bring along snacks for them. They will notoriously get hungry and ask for food especially when we are in a grocery store. The few times that I have forgotten, we pick up a box of crackers or something simple but we make them wait until we have paid for it before we let them eat. Sometimes this does result in alot of crying and whining, but I view it as teaching them not to steal. My kids have pointed to other people in the store letting their kids do it and ask why my husband or I won’t let them and we explain it to them. Even if you intend to pay for it at the end, you haven’t paid for it yet and it still belongs to the store. So technically it is stealing. I use to work in retail and the loss prevention policies in the store I worked in called situations like what the post is about stealing. I have witnessed grown adults on their own take a few green beans or grapes out and start to snack on them.
Children need to be taught to respect other people’s property first, before indulging in their own wants. (yes, it is a WANT, not a need.) The kid will not die if he or she does not eat in store. I am a parent and regularly shop with my two pre-school aged children. The argument that the kids can’t resist the temptation floors me–they must be taught to respect what doesn’t belong to them.
Do you have children? I’m assuming no, because if you did, you would know that while on a grocery trip, a parent would do almost anything to keep the kids quiet. If that means handing them a cookie, and paying for it later, than so be it. They’re having a hard enough time on the outing than to have to deal with judgemental people in the process.
I think this is an interesting post, not just about kids/parents in the stores .. but people in general. When they mention ‘bulk section’ I don’t think the OP means opening boxes and packaging you can pay for later, or items given by counter people, I read it as things like candy, chips, nuts .. things you can bag up and buy in bulk in stores. Even fresh fruits like grapes and berries – I see adults munch on those while looking in the produce section ALL the time.
I know it’s impossible know what situation everyone is in. We are all struggling with multiple stresses and problems. Reminding myself of that makes it easier for me to forgive in situations like this.
I’m not in favour of the eat now, pay later thing either. Honestly, it’s not yours until you’ve paid for it, so you don’t have a right to be eating it in store.
I always think it looks ridiculous too – can you really not wait the 5 minutes to get out of the store to eat? Or do your kids rule the roost and get what they want, when they want it.
I have a one year old and three year old and we manage just fine paying for our groceries before eating them.
On the other side of the coin my parents have done this with me, and most likely i will do it with my daughter. They have never stolen anything, and they have got some funny looks from cashiers when paying for an empty bottle of pop, etc. Im not saying it is the most ideal thing to do, but we all know sometimes we are rushed and dont get the chance to prepare a snack or serve dinner before shopping. It has been proven you save money on groceries when you eat beforehand, so if you can feed the kids in the process at least that will be less impulse shopping or “can i have?”‘s. I think everyone can be a little too quick to judge at times, myself included. You could be right, maybe they didnt pay for it and that would be wrong. I just wanted to say that not everyone is that way.
stephania, i always love your topics that you put on the table for discussion.
as someone who doesn’t have kids, but teaches them daily in a daycare setting, children need rules and boundaries that teach them what is expected of them in any setting, nonetheless a supermarket. So kids need to hear the word “no” (in a firm manner) sometimes, and know that means i’m either not going to buy it for you, or you’re going to have to wait until after we pay to eat it.
the lack of discipline children have is why they can justify stupid things they do like participating in riots, and violence without realizing there’s consequences to their actions.
I agree with this blog post entirely. Not only is it wrong, but think of how filthy the shopping carts are that the kids are touching and then shoving food into their faces. Y-uck!
technically, it isn’t stealing until you have left the store without paying. Child or no child, it isn’t proper to open and take items out of packages for comsumption or use, but it does happen sometimes. However if you are worried about the possibility of someone not paying for an item, bring it up to a store employee, who can keep their eye on the shopper, from a distance. It’s usually the ones that are hiding what they are doing that don’t pay, not the ones that are doing it for everyone to see.
my question to you is…do you have children…do you know how hard it is to shop with kids who get bored within the 5 mins you make it into the store? I know some who make it like a game to have their kids help them out but some times kids are hungy and some times adults are hungry…what are you going to do? Ya know stores have camera’s and I am sure they catch people eating on them all the time…at least they are willing to pay for those items instead of this story I heard of this employee at one of the local grocery stores here who this man tried to walk out of the store with a 22lb roast in his pants…the man thought no one was going to notice that he had a 22lb roast in pants…
Until ya have kids you have no right to judge other people…
Ahhhhh….the argument continues!:)
Well the only things my kids ever asked for is the cookie that’s given out at the bakery. If they can’t wait to eat something else that we are buying I don’t buy it all together and they going to wait even longer. :). I know I am a bad parent for not giving them what they want!
We all can’t assume ( ASS-U-ME) because some parents do intent on paying for what’s eaten by their kids or themselves at the check out. But we all know that some don’t have any intension of doing so.
What bothers me are those people that eat stuff out of the bulk bins and picking at grapes…. That, you have no way of paying for at the
check out. But I still don’t get bent out of shape about it because sooner or later they’ll be caught by the secret shopper.
Lastly, you think these people are the cause of our groceries prices going up? Well you need to get yourself caught up with the news, particularly the economic!
Most of the grocery stores we frequent have various programs for kids,free cookies, deli meat slices or our favorite store gives the kids a banana or an apple. Things aren’t always as they seem, if people spent less time judging other people the world would be a better place.
We are teaching our kids certain behaviors when we allow them to open a package at the store just to keep them happy, despite our intention of paying for it later. The message is quick gratification without thinking of appropriateness and manners. When they’re taught young to have some self-discipline, they will become more well adjusted adults later. We are seeing the downgrade of society because of quick gratification we’re teaching the young generation. The kids get their cues from their parents, they don’t know what’s right or wrong, they only can only learn from what they’re shown. It’s the parent’s job to teach them what appropriate behavior.
It’s weird, when I was little my grandma use to feed me candy and grapes and all sortsa of. I realise now that she never paid for them! they were things with no bar code. I love my grandma, but so wrong. As a couponer I work hard to save money and don’t need prices going up anymore than they already are. Bring a snack, feed your children before, get a free cookie at the bakery (I always let my kids).But don’t steal it from the store, as we are all paying for your childs snack then and really I already have four little mouths to feed:)
All I can say is…you clearly DON’T have children!
Look all us parents out there have done this and yes we do pay for it later at the cash register, if the package is dirty and germy I will usually scan it for them or go to a self checkout.
Even if you take snacks with you then will always see something else they would rather have, until they are older they do not understand. I have a 20 month and I do this
All you self righteous childless people need to chill, you will to have children one day.
I have always taught my kids that doing that is stealing. There is no justification for it. Society is pretty morally bankrupt though so can’t do much about it.
Stop being so HOLIER THAN THOU. My god, so many of you are so judgmental, sounding like it’s the end of the world. Which one among you actually did witness this, let alone, leaving without paying for the items consumed?
This almost makes me want to quit this site, I cannot believe this comment and how you cannot understand why.
Okay. So I’m going to confess. I’m no parent, not even of legal age yet, so I do remember having a similar experience when i was little. But it was purely because I couldn’t stand it anymore. The one and only time I did that was to get a bottle of water. And I remember it being clearly summer and waiting an hour. Now 7 year old little me didn’t have the patience to wait in a LOOONNNGGGG time to pay for the water so I just drank from it first. Then my mom told the cashier that I was drinking the water and scanned that and we went right through.
These cases, I would only allow if they were necessary. i.e. not junk food or something like that.
There are definitely a lot of good points up there and one of them that is repeated is that you have no idea what the intentions of those people were. As a diabetic, I always have some sort of treat in my purse for my kids and myself but if I didn’t I don’t see a big problem with taking something and paying for it on the way out. I am an honest person and would make sure to keep any wrappers so that they could be scanned. In my opinion, I would not be teaching my children that stealing is okay, as it is suggested, but that it is important to be honest and responsible for your actions.
And I don’t even have kids!
I am a mother of two girls and most often I shop alone with them. I agree anything that will help keep them happy and entertained is a good thing. That is why I always carry a bag goodies for them. WE NEVER EAT before we pay, ESPECIALLY from the bulk department. There is nothing wrong with children learning to wait (they are not born with patience!!) I would rather leave the store because they can not behave then teach them that they can have what ever they want!!!
“Before I had the chance to confront these parents with the “How dare you teach your kids to steal!” or “Oh, now I know who’s responsible for driving up some of these prices!”, I got distracted by something, a.k.a. my bf held me back and told me to cool it.”
That makes two of us who are glad that you were “held back”.
I agree with the overall message of your post: pay first, eat later. But in all honesty, if you tried to confront a parent who already has their hands full with shopping and their kids with lines like those you mentioned above, do you really think anything positive is going to come out of your confrontation?
It’s not your place to approach those parents and try to make them change their ways. If the store is losing money from these incidents, then they’re aware of the situation and it is up to the store employees or the cashiers who see the packaging, or someone associated with the store to do something about it. Again, I’m not saying its okay. But it’s also not okay to approach a stranger and say something snarky/rude/confrontational to them, regardless of how right you think you are.
Your grievance could easily be reworded as a polite approach. You suggested carrying snacks around in this post – if you were going to talk to those parents, you could make that suggestion to THEM – again, politely.
Kindness will get your message heard. Approach someone with your hackles raised, and embarass them publicly, and you won’t come out looking too great either.
And for the record, asking questions like “Why can’t I (do what those kids are doing)?” comes across as petty and dare I say childish. There’s nothing stopping you from eating and then paying except your morals.
I personally have much higher hopes for humanity.
[Sorry if I’ve come across as hostile in this post – watching a video less than 24 hours ago of two men being tortured for stealing a sack of potatoes in a less fortunate country puts this post into perspective. Eradicating instances like those is MY hope for humanity.]
I am a mother and I know – kids get hungry….the solution? BRING YOUR OWN SNACKS!!!
Its not only unfair to the cashiers, but also to the other employees/customers. Kids make messes with food and no doubt the packaging and crumbs would be ALL OVER the store!
I usually try to bring fruit snacks/goldfish for my kids which do not create a mess. I would treat the store like I treat my home, because someone has to clean it!
I’m a cashier at Zellers and a lot of times parents will bring the empty candy wrapper or the half eaten bag of chips for me to scan when they check out. Sometimes, the parents will pay for the bag of chips at the beginning when they come into the store and then continue to shop.
But I HAVE noticed half eaten cookies and opened bags of chips in the store and I HATE that!
One time, this woman thought these cookies were on sale for 60 cents and she opened the box and started to eat about half of them. When she came to check out, I told her that she had the wrong type of cookies and she didn’t want to buy the opened box that she has started feasting on. I made her buy it at the end but the point is that it’s incredibly rude to open stuff before buying it no matter how much the price is or how little the stuff is.
Bottom line: The world that we are now living in is lacking in discipline. When I was a child I would never even think about asking for something at the grocery store…It was unheard of… I once worked at a large grocery chain and the kids who were eating the opened food and the chocolate bars, etc. were always spoiled little brats screaming and whining. I even had a mother who gave me a banana peel and said “here, weigh this other banana because she ate one”… Okay, that’s not right.. Estimating the size of fruit because your child could not wait? I’m appalled and I can’t believe people think otherwise. This world is lacking in discipline and manners and I would not even want to bring a child up in this environment today!
Exactly what dizzyb says, all these people going on and on about things being eye level to kids and this and that makes kids want everything. It’s how you bring up your kids that’s going to decide how your kids act in the stores. Your kids are now wanting everything they see in the store because they know they can get it as you’ve always gave into their fussing/demands. I’ve seen many kids in grocery stores calm as can be and very well mannered.. and they didn’t have a doughnut or anything of the like in their hands. Why? Because the parents know how to say NO to their child. It’s all how you bring your kids up. And by the way Trixyluxx, it’s the small things like this that turn into bigger problems with society down the road. So in reply to your statement, it’s the little things that make a big difference.
This whole thing is making me laugh out loud. Really… THIS is what we are worried about??? In a world that is falling apart, a government that screws us, and we are worried about a parent giving a child something to eat, so it makes the grocery trip more feasible for EVERYONE involved??? Really? And to think that a cookie is what makes grocery prices sky rocket??? BAHAHAHA… go do some research, and come back with a legitimate blog post.
It’s one of those things… Do I have screaming kids, disturbing other shoppers, opening packages, climbing out of the cart, grabbing things off shelves, (where if you’re not a parent, you’d probably judge me for their behaviour, if you are a parent you’d understand)? Or do they sit quietly and safely with a snack? Some stores offer free snacks for kids, some don’t. I would never give them something sold by weight, just open a box of crackers or something. And yes, ideally, I’d love to have packed them a snack, but it doesn’t always happen (once again, only a parent would understand this) Now about teaching them values to be better members of society… If they’re under 5, you’ll probably double your blood pressure as well as other shoppers and workers by the time you leave the store, trying to teach a kid who just can’t understand the concept yet. (or be forced to leave before you get anything in your cart nevermind organizing coupons and price matches)
Ha ha! You must not have any children. These were my exact thoughts when I was single and childless….then I had two children under 3.
Why don’t you try and get through the grocery store alone with 2 toddlers and then rewrite your post.
It’s all about respect. As young children emulate their parents they will continue this behaviour. I always had snack for my child with me should she be hungry while shopping – admitedley who isn’t hungry while shopping. Yes, free deli meats and free cookies – no problem at all, but those are obvious. The helping themselves to the bulk foods is not only stealing – it is unsanitary. I approached a father and politely asked him to ask his children to refrain from eating from the bulk bins as he was munching on grapes which were not weighed and paid – he ignored me and continue to graze in the fruit section. Teach your children and they will learn what is acceptable and what is not.
I’ve never had to give something to my son during a grocery shopping outing. But the one time I did, was after I had paid for the snacks. I had forgotten to bring some snacks with me and he saw his favorite crackers. I should’ve hidden it in the grocery cart but didn’t think of it at that time.
I don’t think it’s a big thing to give your kid say a juice box from a 4-pack or a rip open a box of crackers assuming you will pay for it in the end if you desparately need to. Being a parent is tough and when your kid is tired and cranky and you had forgotten to bring your snacks with you due to too many things going on or lack of sleep night before, you do whatever it takes to keep the noise down for everyone else.
I haven’t had to do this in the store but would only consider it on an emergency basis. I wouldn’t do this regularly at stores. I don’t think it’s appropriate to do it everytime you walk in the grocery store with your kid. That is giving your kid the idea that he could eat whatever, wherever without consequence.
Theres a difference between opening a box of crackers and letting your kids snack on it and grabbing stuff out of the bulk bin. Kind of like grapes, how are you going to pay for a few grapes? You cant!
I dont care if a parent opens up a box of something and lets the kid have a few, but bulk items, items by weight.. no way!
Wow, such hostility.
I do not have kids yet. But I would NEVER allow my child to eat something before paying for it.
And I have gone shopping with children, every age from infant to teenager, and you know what? Saying no doesn’t always work and they will continue to be a pain, but if you give in they expect it EVERY time you go out. This leads to further issues. Giving into children is not wise, they learn fast and will think whining will get them whatever they want.
I’ve NEVER let my kids eat food before I’ve paid for it. It’s not that your kids can’t resist all those tempting foods, it’s that parents are giving in! My 2 and 6 year can manage to wait until we get home to get a snack.
I love that people can be so superior to say that feeding your hungry child a cookie is somehow going to corrupt them and make them a bad person in the long run. When you think about it, your children would be the ones suffering from hunger! Your grocery bill and patience will also suffer with all the extra things your kids want. Its hilarious that people can over analyze a situation so badly! not everyone is a thief. keep in mind if i ever ate anything in store, it was given to me. I wouldnt dare take something off the shelf, open and eat it. I knew that my parents were still paying for it, and i had to ask. thats just the way life is i guess, because i dont want my child to be hungry in the minds of other people i am somehow giving them everything they ever want. they are lacking in etiquette, have no concept of money, etc, etc. I can assure you my daughter will understand each of these things well, regardless of a cookie are in store. But to me if she lacked all of those things put together, she would still be a better than a superior, judgmental, stereotypical person. Its not so much the post that i take offense to as the comments.
This isn’t even the real issue. It’s not exactly about the food. It’s about the fact that a lot of parents don’t really even try to teach their children self control or respect for other’s property.
That said. I have once given my daughter some crackers out of a box and paid for them later. Sometimes you have to do what you have to do. In my defence she was one.
Is it really any of your business? and who are you to judge? SPECIALLY if you have never been grocery shopping with a toddler/young child!
I have to say, I love your website normally, but I’m pretty offended by your tone here. This is usually such a positive, friendly website, and this post was unbelievably judgmental. I feel like if somebody were this judgy on the forum you would stop them.
Yes, it’s true that no one should sample from the bulk section because you pay by weight so you wouldn’t be able to accurately pay for that at the cash register. But, from comments like, “Why didn’t the parents…” or “How dare they…” it sounds like you would have been similarly “outraged” (a very strong word, btw) if the kids were eating from, say, an open container of crackers that hadn’t been paid for yet. That’s something I’ve certainly done myself, I ALWAYS pay for it, and I don’t feel bad about it at all.
Why? Because busy parents DO try to plan ahead for every conceivable necessity that comes up along the way but sometimes you find yourself at the grocery store during the supper rush with a million things that you have to buy and no other time to buy it, with a child (or two or three) who are starving and being as patient as they can be but who really need a snack to get through an hour of grocery shopping, checking out, packing the car and driving home…and you thought you had crackers in your bag but all you can find are empty wrappers and so you grab a box of Arrowroot, open it up and make sure to tell the cashier to scan it at the cash.
For parents, how they raise their kids is the MOST important thing in their lives, and it makes them feel like crap when they have strangers casually criticizing every aspect of their parenting based on random interactions. This kind of parent bashing is EVERYWHERE and it’s pretty hard to take, frankly.
i do understand how difficult it is to shop with children, but i won’t allow it for a whole number of reasons. Most importantly, I think it sets a bad precedent for children. How do you explain that it’s okay to take something off a shelf and eat it, and that’s okay, but it’s not okay to go into a toy store and open a package and use a toy, without paying? We always have snacks on hand, and if i have to give them one in the grocery store i make sure i say ‘okay, you can have these cheesestrings we brought from home’. they need to learn boundaries, respect for others property and patience. they survive just fine.
AMY – kudos for a great post, it puts the original opinionated poster to shame!
Teagys – well said
I was caught once in a grocery store with a hungry 2 year old and no snacks in my bag. I asked first if it would be okay if I opened up my crackers before I went through check-out and was told it was ABSOLUTELY FINE.
All of you arguing FOR being able to do this (eat now, pay later), is it really that hard to leave the house with a few snacks? Maybe I just grew up in a household where this is necessary. My dad has been diabetic since he was a kid and we simply never left the house without a sandwich/piece of fruit/granola bar etc. I still do it today as I also have a hard time maintaining a constant blood sugar level.
Eat now, pay later, is simply poor etiquette. And it teaches kids a bad lesson. I’m guessing that a lot of younger ones without the ability to rationalize just yet, see the grocery store, and now equate that with “oh, I get open a (insert product here)” when I go in. Pavlov wasn’t wrong.
when you have kids maybe you’ll be in this situation one day and remember how you feel now.
You SO don’t have kids! Stop judging and maybe smile at the kids. You will be eating your words some day, my dear.
There is however one thing we can all agree on, things that need to be weighed are wrong to eat in store. I am sure that no parent or person walks into the grocery store with the intent to eat now pay later. I
until yo have walked a mile in that moms shoes…..keep your mouth shut!
man,what a discussion!
Would YOU eat out of the bulk bin? Or sample the fruits or veggies? If YOU do, that’s why prices are higher.
Why let your kid do it? Expecially if it’s something that has to be weighed to pay for it.
My mother routinely brought FIVE children to the grocery store. We didn’t snack. We also didn’t get the chocolate bar at checkout just to shut us up. We were taught to behave in public, to be kind and polite and not to ask for things that we weren’t going to get. And, never more than once did it happen that we left the store without anything and went home because one of us threw a fit.
Teach your children some basic values, you’ll have way less problems with them in the teenage years.
I OFTEN let my kid eat a bun – otherwise I know that if he’s hungry he’ll feel very anxious – but I ALWAYS pay for all the items he’s taken. A couple of times cashiers told us that we did not need to pay, but I always paid anyways!!! I do not see it a crime, and it is not stealing! And my child is highly disciplined!!!
It’s sad to read some of the posts arguing that it’s absolutely right to let kids snack on bulk bins prior to paying. Our society has turned into something like “I can just do whatever I want – it’s my choice – I have my own rights – who are you to judge me”
I totally agree that it’s difficult to raise kids, and it’s an embarrassing nightmare when they keep yelling and screaming in public. But this is not an excuse of letting kids do whatever they like. It’s discipline we are talking about. We adults know we can never get everything we want, but kids don’t have that sense. Thus we as parents need to teach them. Otherwise how will they know it’s just not right to snack in bulk bins without paying? Kids are smart. If they know the way they scream will get parents grant them what they want, they will continue to do so.
Of course, if parents know beforehand that their kids are getting hungry, then bring your own snacks from home before you leave your home and keep them entertained. If absolutely nothing works at the end, buy them for the kids right away, and re-enter the store to get the rest of your groceries done.
But if you haven’t paid for it, it isn’t yours to eat. I don’t understand how anyone thinks this is ok. I do have kids and they have always been taught this.
I agree with all the parents above it is very hard to take kids for grocerry shopping , because we cannot teach mannors in grocerry shop , when people are watching you and they are thinking you are not good parent as if they ask for any thing and we are not giving to them , even you teach every thing at home as soon as they enter into grocerry store they are looking for their favourite stuff , specially now during summer vac they are always hungry , and usaully all store have cameras it is hard to steal .
Okay I know there are people who are going to reply to this, but as a mother of two.(a new mother) I see both sides no it isn’t right to give your child something prior to paying for it. But that said before I was a mother I hated walking into the grocery store and seeing someone else’s kids screaming on top of there lungs cause they where hungry.
Since I have become a mom sometimes it is a thing that happens no matter what you try. I do always feed my kids before I leave the house. But unforunatly they see the food and they want some. (can’t blame them really) I know the can’t really be that hungry but when they have been looking at food for close to an hour they just can’t help it. I have asked the store manager if it would be alright and the funny thing is he told me it was okay as long as we paid for it and as long as it was a scannable item.
So as a mother and someone who feels it necessary to try to have a peaceful place to shop I will give my kids some crackers or cookies if necessary and as they grow up I will teach them that no they should really wait but if they are that hungry and cannot wait then we will go and get something and pay for it. Unfortunately in this day and age there are too many people that are dishonest but for those of us how will actually pay for it I see nothing wrong.
Forgive the kids, I’ve seen full grown ADULTS do this at the store with no kids in sight. Just casually crack open a package and start eating it in full view of everyone. I will say it’s won’t be the first time I’ve seen a half eaten package left on the shelf.
Believe it or not grocery stores do studies on this specific situation, and grocery stores actually want you to do it… Its called “grazing”. There was a study, and more often than not, mothers paid for the product eaten. Businesses give away free samples, and coupons all the time. Plus its free advertising when people see children enjoying thier product in public.
This one person that you were wanting to scold, like the holier than thou person you are, is not driving up the prices. It helps her so she can get her shopping done (which she most likely buys more of this product), it helps you so you dont have to hear a screaming baby, and it helps the business. So you need to put your anger into something constructive.
AMY, Being a mom and having to go grocery shopping with the kids should not be as bad as you other moms make it out to be. If you are prepared and bring your own snack and some books, a favorite toy for your child/children, than it should not be so hard. Or better yet, eat before you leave the house! Snacking on food before buying/paying just shows a lack of self discipline and poor time management!
Omg people are so judgmental seriously, amy your comments are unbelievable that’s all I’m saying
I’m amazed at home many people here think there is one proper way to parent (their way).
I must be missing something people keep saying how it is stealing to eat something before you pay for it, last time I checked people eat their dinner at a restaurant before they pay for it. Clearly it is wrong to eat bulk food, produce or anything else you can’t pay for the exact amount at the end, but otherwise its up to an individual to decide. It is getting really ridiculous how judgmental many people have gotten on here over the last year.
I worked in a grocery store for years, the signs we had up was don’t eat the produce or the bulk food without paying for it first. There is a reason it specifically said those two foods and not all foods. If you think you shouldn’t do it, don’t, if you think its ok great do that, but when it comes to what is culturally acceptable as opposed to legally acceptable then we all need to do what we feel is appropriate and butt out of the actions of other people.
Yeah, I think I knew exactly how I would raise a child too…until I had one.
I often open a packet of cookies for my son to eat while we’re walking around. It means that I (and the other shoppers) can shop in relative peace. Neither of us would ever eat an item that needs to be weighed before paying and I don’t see the harm in allowing my son a little treat while we are shopping. Goodness knows, he hears the word ‘no’ often enough – he does not get what he wants whenever he wants it.
I like this site for reading about deals etc but I am getting a bit weary of the sanctimonious postings at times.
Hm. This post seems almost deliberately inflammatory. So in return, I will ask you this question: if you were in line to pay and in front of or behind a child that was screaming because they were hungry, would you complain that they were screaming or congratulate the parent for withholding snacks they were in the process of paying for?
And yes, I’ll buy a 6 pack of cheese buns from the bakery and open it before I pay to feed my hungry 2 year old, or a box of Cheerios, or a box of Ritz crackers. You didn’t say how old these kids you saw eating were, but until you try grocery shopping with a hungry, possibly tired child, I, for one would appreciate you withholding your judgment.
i completely agree with Kate
Just do your shopping .
I completely agree with Nic. It is not good etiquette and not something positive to teach children to do.
I work in a grocery store and see this all the time. I guess the people can’t see the forest for the trees and don’t realize my employer is not in business to offer free groceries. The loss is recouped through higher prices of course.
how about these parents let their children pay for the item first and then consume as they shop ? This way they teach their children that they should pay for items that they want, as some kids may not realise that what they ate was actually paid for in the end. As I find it hard to believe that parents NEVER forget to tell the cashier about the stuff their kid ate, I would think they have lots of other things to focus on ? like getting the stuff on their list and what coupons to use? and the time etc. I am not saying that they always forget, but I am saying that the likely hood of them forgetting is high considering they are shopping for more than 30 minutes (usually) and that they have kids to watch and items that they need to get. I forget what free samples I have had at Costco and if I had to pay for them, I know I would forget what I had exactly especially if it was more than one food item
IMO it is stealing I have 3 kids of my own and they would never dream of asking for anything to eat in a grocery store i have never given them anything so they have never learned that it is even possible they just assume it is not allowed obviously some of you have done this with your children previously and taught them it is ok children learn by example here is another thought when I do my big Grocery order every 2 weeks I get a babysitter
heck I forget to get items on my shopping list sometimes ! so it is possible to forget, and thus I believe you should always pay first then consume !!
sorry agree with original poster that is stealing.
And because of that we all pay the difference 🙁
My mother brought 4 kids to the store when we were little without ever taking anything in the store to feed us. There were also things like ‘time outs’ back then so if we didn’t behave then we got a time out when we got home.
Also, if you MUST buy something for your kid or yourself while shopping, why not get in the store, get your snack, pay for it, and THEN do your shopping?
I find you all to be a judgy lot. If you have a problem with my kids eating crackers I wonder how you would feel about me nursing my 18 month old in the grocery store.
Please don’t tell me how to raise my children. I’d rather they learn patience on my schedule than be as judgemental as most of you seem to be.
I have 2 kids and can say I usually try to be prepared with snacks if I plan on going grocery shopping with them. If the plan for the day is to only go grocery shopping then we normally make it through the store no issues. Though I usually go grocery shopping after the kids go to bed and my hubby is home to prevent any problems. Anyhow when with my kids and out shopping at one or 2 stores, I always have my own snacks and it is all ok. It is the days when you are out all day already and then remember you need to grab some groceries that your plans can go to hell. Snacks are all gone, kids are tired and cranky and you just need to get your groceries without the kids breaking down and ruining EVERYONES shopping trip. I never give them bulk items but i will open a box of crackers for them if I have to. If parents didn’t do stuff like this for their kids from time to time, the next post on this blog would be about “why parents go shopping and just let their kids scream and ruin my shopping trip” 😉
It’s stealing…it’s not a restaurant where one eats first then you pay. If your kids are hungry and you’ve brought them to the grocery store, you need to make sure they’ve had food before hand or buy a couple of snackie things before you go around the store…and take advantage of the free samples usually available at the bakery and deli. If you have a real problem with your kids behaviour, then you need to work on their behaviour. That’s being a parent teaching them right from wrong and doing the right thing. I never feed my kids with food from the store before I buy it.
Oh and I want to point out that this post has nothing to do with deals and I love it !! 🙂 …or maybe it is? maybe its a way to get free kid snacks ! ..jk
Just bring your own snacks for your kids!! How hard can it be!?
My biggest concern for the people who eat the stuff before paying for them is “what if your debit/credit card doesn’t go through for some reason and you have no other form of payment?” Then what is one to do?? You can’t put the stuff back!
This really should not be an issue of “it’s okay because it shuts my kids up”. It’s about being respectufl and thats it. If your or your child tend to get hungry while shopping, BRING SNACKS! It is not okay to munch on food without paying no matter what your reason is.
If there is a health issue that requires food BRING some or purchase some snacks at the beginning of your trip.
I would never give my kids food to “shut them up”. They are kids, what do you expect? If they get out of hand, deal with it or go shopping without them.
I have already commented but:
I used to not have kids, and have a lot of ideas of how things should be. NEVER SAY NEVER.
Eating things that you can’t pay for (bulk by weight) = NO.
Competitive parents suck. Parenting is no place for competition, just survival.
For those of you who say “clearly you don’t have kids” Your parenting skills need some work. If you are not able to teach your children manners and right vs wrong where will they end up? Stealing for from stores as I usualy see on a daily basis. Most likley because their parents though it was okay when they were younger to take stuff from the bulk or heck even open crackers.I work at a grocery store and when I see parents opening items I tell my manager of the store because it is not allowed. You may just happen to not want it after the kids ate from it then it becomes damaged product.
ITS WRONG! Why are moms using the excuse of “until you have walked in a moms shoes” yatti yatti ya. Come on. If your too lazy to bring something from home or if you don’t want to teach your kids they have to wait. Fine by me. Can’t wait to see what the future holds for some impatient teens who think opening and eating stuff before they are allowed to …. haha
I’ve always taught my children that the item is not ours until it is paid for. A simple but valuable lesson. They understand and I allow them to carry the item they want to the register and hand it to the cashier themselves. Not judging, just letting everyone know what works for us.
I used to work in Loss Prevention for the largest grocery chain. I dont think that it is bad to eat before paying, as long as the item is paid for. I know my wife and I will drink a water or juice as we shop and pay for it on checkout. Sometimes you are dehydrated or need something then. I agree you can bring your own but wheres the fun in that? As long as its paid for, I dont think the store cares and if they do, they need a life.
I used to be a cashier, and people do this all the time. I am sure you have started on a bottle of soda from the fridge at the checkout before.
Looks like you are assuming that they did not pay for the items, and you know what they say about people who assume. Also why do you care, it is something for the parents and store to work out if it is a problem. I suggest you worry about yourself instead, sounds like you have some issues if something like this gets you worked up.
I have always considered it disrespectful to bring in a product into a business that wasn’t bought there, so why is it that all the people who say how wrong it is to open a product first are suggesting bringing snacks for kids. So essentially you are suggesting going into mcdonalds and while you are awaiting your order make sure you brought in a whopper for the kids to snack on while they wait. Now is this example ridiculous? yup, kind of says something doesn’t it.
Secondly as for people stealing being the cause of food inflation, try learning about world economics, futures trading and commodity prices.
Spoken like a true childless person. lol Just wait. You ‘ll see. LMAO
Why do you care? They’re not your kids and it’s not your business. My friend always lets her kids eat a donut while they grocery shop. It’s a treat for their good behavior and keeps them occupied while she shops. She always hands the empty donut bag to the cashier upon checkout and lets them know her kids each had a donut.
Plus, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve opened a bottle of water or soda when I’m shopping before I check out. Sometimes I’m just dying of thirst and want to take a few gulps before I lose my mind. I’m an adult and I don’t think it’s bad behavior as long as you pay for it.
But mostly back to my first statement: Why do you care? They’re not your kids and it’s not your business.
I’m going to go out on a limb here and assume those of you who “would never consume something before paying for it” have never gone shopping with a cranky, hungry two year old at the last minute, don’t get me wrong I am all for freebies but if my daughter eats a gingerbread cookie from the bin you can bet a) I have bought MORE (ie: a bag) and b) I have paid for the extra cookie. It just happens that before I paid for it, she wanted one. I don’t see the big problem with it really, unless of course someone walks in, eats the product and then leaves without buying them or anything else for that matter.
You should be able a taste test anyways, some of the stuff is super gross LOL
To all those who say “PAY THEN EAT”….is that what you do at a restaurant? I have to agree with the majority of the posts here….chill out! There are far greater things in life to worry or mull over. This is not one of them!
Okay, I love this topic. It is pretty funny. I got another one for everyone who wants to lynch the people who eat and then pay.
Do you start drinking your slurpee before you pay? While your standing in line do you take that forbidden sip? You thieving dog.
I really think this is only a problem if it is a problem for the store management. It is common that most major grocery stores don’t care if you do this (regardless of some random cashiers dirty looks). They are not oblivious to the practice.
I pretty sure that most of these people who do this with their children would never dream of doing it as some small podunk neighborhood grocery because they have no idea how the proprietor is going to respond.
Everyone here who thinks you caving in to your children by letting them do this have no way of knowing if that is even the case just by you little myopic view of the situation. Maybe they’ve already been to the drugstore, dry-cleaners and the hardware store and the mom said “If you guys are really good I’ll let you have some cookies at the grocery store”. The children, because of the excellent parenting skills and innate ability to delay their wants have managed to be extremely pleasant and are now being rewarded.
Hey, OP, what if some grandma saw you in with you boyfriend (neither with wedding rings) shopping for household groceries and told you was a sinful slut you were. Who cares what the real story was and if the situation was any of her business to start with.
so why did my post disappear after waiting for moderation?
apparently it is still waiting, never mind, but apparently I can’t delete my comment “so why did my post disappear after waiting for moderation?”
Why is it any of your business what other people let their children do? If the store had a problem with it, I am sure they would say something. I always let me children eat the baguette I buy to keep them quiet while I shop. This is definitely beneficial to everyone because 1) my kid isn’t screaming and bugging everyone (which is another thing I will let my child do in public. I will not give in to a tantrum for the sake of others) 2) it gives me distraction-free time to finish my shopping, read labels and get what I came for, which in turn makes money for the store.
To the person who said that this will lead to a higher incidence of drug use and the like – grow up. The last thing a child wants to do is sit in a cart for an hour while their mother shops. They are going to get cranky, regardless of how well-behaved the child is and if something like a piece of bread will pacify them, then so be it.
And if it did cause all these ill effects, then so what, it isn’t your child. Worry about your own family!
Lately I’ve been seeing articles where I feel like people just want children left at home locked up and to never enter society, because it is too annoying for the childless. For those that don’t have children, thank the rest of us for making that sacrifice, because now you will have someone to work and pay for your pensions and your old age infrastructure.
AGREE with Teagys, Beatnik and Nicole!
While I don’t agree with giving children things before you pay for them ( I don’t give my children items before they are paid for and mine are 3 and 7) I don’t have a problem with parents who crack open a box of crackers and give their child a few ( assuming they are paying for it after). I don’t like to see parents feeding their kids items that are paid for by weight because in my opinion how do you recover the weight to pay for it correctly. On the other side its not up to me to judge I can only assume that these parents are paying for it unless i see otherwise.
on another not I don’t appreciate people who haven’t been in a grocery store ( or any store) with screaming children of their own at an age where negotiation is completely lost on them telling me how to parent. When I had my first daughter I often questioned the way some parents handled their children acting up in public places. My oldest was good and listened for the most part and if I had to talk to her about something it never caused a scene. Well when my second daughter came along I for sure ate my words ( or my thoughts) because she never stops. I don’t back down down from her in public but it certainly makes us a spectacle sometimes and I cant help but remember being judgmental when I wasn’t the one wearing those shoes.
I admit I have permitted my kids to snack on some unpaid groceries prior to paying for them, but I make sure it is something that is not going to alter the price should some be eaten, ie. grapes or food that is paid for by weight.
I feed my kids 3 meals a day and plenty of snacks, sometimes the eat all the goldfish I had stashed in my purse. In desperate times I have opened a yop, or a box of crackers to hold them over.
I hand the enmpty yop bottle, or package to the cashier and tell her we ate it. I still pay for it. I think some people are too judgemental, if you don’t know the whole story you should not sit there and judge. One day you may be the other person.
I dont think everyone is totally reading this post before commenting on it. They’re talking about bulk items-which we can assume need to be weighed (candy etc) as opposed to scanned (box of cookies) or counted and rung in with a code (ie. bulk rolls). If someone has already eaten something then its impossible to weigh it. The poster is not talking about opening a pack of 6 muffins and giving your kid one, where there is no effect on the amount you pay for it. Or a bag of gummy worms, but rather the kind of gummy worms (for example) that you dip up from a bin and then pay for. Two very different things, in my opinion anyway.
My local grocery store provides free cookies (from the bakery) to kids, kids club type of thing. It gives them something to look forward to at either the half way point or something to get them through the checkout. The cookies are from their own bakery, and typically on the little well done side. I am not sure if they are unsellable for the bakery or not because of the ‘doneness’, but it sure helps me and my three. RCSS and some Sobey’s
“Why is it any of your business what other people let their children do?”
Because we live in a society, and like it or not, how people behave affects other people. If you don’t want to engage in society, then feel free to live in the middle of nowhere.
This is such an interesting topic that I wrote to Superstore, Save-on, Sobeys, & Safeway regarding this question. Soon, we will know whether this is acceptable practice or not. 🙂 Stay tuned!
Yikes – glad you didn’t say anything either. Being a mother of a 2 year old, I know what’s it’s like to forget snacks at home – or not expect to hit up the grocery store after picking them up from Daycare. I think what you need to understand is not everyone is Mrs. Cleaver. We don’t always have things prepared for our children when we make a quick stop at a grocery store. If my kid was acting out in a grocery store and I just needed to get in and out without having to drag her by my ankles, so what – I’ll give her a few friggin grapes. I think the stores anticipate that – which is why you pay by the pound for bulk items. If it’s a box of crackers – I’ll crack ’em open and pay for it at the cash… but please don’t write a stupid article on your view point on how people should raise their kids when you have NOOOOO idea what it’s like.
Thanks, S. I’m curious about what retailers have to say about this issue.
For posters who disagree with the tone or content of this article and have chosen to bash the author, please recognize your hypocrisy and refrain from posting unless it contains only constructive arguments.
I have 11 month old twins and the couple of times I have fed them cookies or something out of the box at the store was to spare the rest of the people shopping from their screaming. Also, I almost always have snacks in my diaper bag, but if you are a parent you know how easy it is to forget or your spouse used all the snacks when he used the bag and did not replace them. Sometimes you have to put yourself in others shoes.
I totally agree with you but i do let them eat in the grocery store also because there are 3 local grocery stores that give out complimentary cookies or the one i usually go to the also offer i cheese bread stick. So they are allowed one each and its really good when your going in with 3 kids alone! lol but i would never let them if it wasn’t free or paid for.
you are dead on Common Sense
OK, admittedly I didn’t read all the comments, so forgive me if someone else already said this…but…many grocery stores allow a free cookie from the bakery for kids. It keeps them quiet and happy and in the end that’s good for all of us!
A completely useless thread which will only get people arguing at each other.
I think that everyone has reasons to do what they do. Until we know the reason who are we to judge them.
Bravo! Your parents taught you stealing is wrong.
They completely missed the moral lessons about judging people, but whatevs. After all, you can’t go on a public forum and rant about something you have no experience in if you don’t first judge someone.
This is definitely not one of the better articles I’ve read on this site.
Countless parents do this – even adults! Who cares? The majority of people will be paying for the items before they leave. And in all seriousness, do you think that eating a donut or a couple crackers, etc. will break the bank of the grocery store?
I bet you’re more uptight about this happening than the actual store managers. What is $0.50 eaten by a child while in a grocery store compared to the probably $100s spent every month there by the parent. Not to mention the fact that they are possibly keeping a grumpy child happy and not screaming or causing a scene.
My son eats at the grocery store all the time. I’ll open the blueberries for him, yop, give him a couple grapes… Call the police now for the theft I’m committing!! (oh wait, I pay for it at the end… sooo? Call the police for paying a little bit after eating it???)
I’ll just warn you – you better not spot me in the grocery store. Because if I had an uptight jerk dare to say something to me, they’d get an earful and a quick reminder to mind their own business!
She wasn’t speaking of the free cookie or slice of bologna. I get those free for my kids 🙂
Anon. How exactly are you paying for pesticide ridden grapes (that really need to be washed before consumption) by weight at the checkout that your child already ate? You cant!!!!
THANK YOU!!!! I think it is just horrible how people in general do this. It’s called STEALING. My 3-year-old son grabbed a mushroom one day and took a bite, I grabbed it away from him, drug him to the front of the store and made him apologize to a cashier and made him pay for it out of his wallet. Extreme? Maybe, but you can guarantee he WON’T be taking food from a store again.
Sometimes I’ll eat part of a cheesebun walking through RCSS while I shop. I leave some in the bag so there is ‘proof’ of what was in there. I don’t see any problem with it as long as you still pay for what you eat at the till. NBD.
Isn’t it like double jeopardy though – just because you’re doing something in the wrong order doesn’t make it stealing. If you’re STILL PAYING FOR SOMETHING HOW IS IT STEALING? Some of you are ridiculous and in case you forgot we live in the year 2011 not the f***ing 50’s. Wow.
My son is five, and I have NEVER given him ANYTHING from the shelf of a supermarket. He has never ASKED for anything off the shelf before we have paid for it. He knows it’s to take home, and to make meals with. Never once have I ever been faced with a situation where he was screaming and flipping out in a store, so I had to feed him something I hadn’t paid for yet. It’s NOT a restaurant!
Actually, he has NEVER flipped out or started screaming in a store PERIOD. He knows I’d drag his ass out of the store, and he’d never come shopping with me again! Exercise a little control people!! You are creating BRATS – and it’s more than once my son has pointed to a bratty child, who is OLDER than him, and who should know better, and said “We don’t act like that, do we mommy.” I can’t help but smile. Good luck with your teenagers!! LOL
This from a single parent for the first 2.5 years of my son’s life. There’s no excuse for it.
Personally I wouldn’t feel comfortable feeding my 2.5 year old anything I haven’t paid for. We try to eat/rest before we shop (or I leave the kids at home with my husband and go alone which is cheaper and more relaxing). Costco is great because they have free samples all the time! I always have a snack in my purse or diaper bag in case there is a major meltdown due to hunger but would never give in to a tantrum at the store just because. A tantrum means she goes to wait in the car with daddy while I finish shopping or we leave. I won’t reward bad behavior and would rather be embarrassed by a screaming child while I hurry to finish checking out than let her win.
Jennifer, are you trying to give yourself congrats for apparently having a child who has never thrown a tantrum? That is something I do not believe.
Besides, children speaking up against something is not necessarily a bad thing. They are expressing themselves and letting you know how they feel. Young children don’t always know how to do that without showing a lot of emotion or without crying (because they are children!). I would much rather my amazing little boy who will tell me what he does and doesn’t like with passion.
This is actually a sign of intelligence… Not of a child being a “brat”. You can also not even try to compare a child throwing a tantrum to what they will be like as teenagers. It appears that you have a little waking up to do.
Firstly, all of you people threatening “wait until you have kids hahaha”, you’re really encouraging people to have kids eh? Wait till you have a screaming brat who has been coddled and given everything they want the second they want it, and you’ll see what being a parent is all about? What a joke.
Secondly, if your child is so out of control that they have a screaming meltdown when they don’t get what they want instantly, why don’t you leave the kid at home with a spouse/parent/babysitter when you go to the grocery store.
I 100% agree that it is disgusting that people have no ability to wait for things anymore. I’m sure you’re causing your kids great mental anguish and trauma because they can’t have a snack. Why not go grocery shopping after lunch/dinner then they don’t need anything? Oh, but that’s right they’re still going to whine and cry for crap because you have conditioned them to believe that it’s ok.
Wow Jennifer. Good for you! You birthed the perfect child and should be given a gold medal and put on a pedestal for doing that all alone and being the perfect parent! You should write a book.
I myself was given a child who was BORN with a few different challenges, one of them being a propensity for low blood sugar and some serious developmental difficulties with delaying gratification. We work on it constantly, but while your little angel is capable of waiting until he gets home with a little discipline, mine works every bit as hard just to wait until it’s cookie time in the bakery. He’s not a bad child and I’m not a bad mother. Frankly, we outshine you every day of the week because he and I have to work so hard and so constantly to achieve close to the same results that apparently come so easily to you. But I’m ok without the medal and the pedestal, I’ll be happy with a free cookie at the grocery store.
I agree with the OP and find it amusing that alot of peoples reactionsare “you must not have children”. Whta does that have to do with it? I had 3 boys very close in age and would do my grocery shopping, on my own with 3 children aged 4 and under. I NEVER allowed them to eat while shopping. I made sure they were fed before we went and they knew that when we got home they would get a treat. I see open packaging through stores all the time and think these “snacking” episodes are part of the reasons costs go up. Yes, some people will pay for the empty packaging but IMO that is still stealing, it doesn’t belong to you until you pay for it. Can you go to the gas station, explain that you’re on empty, fill up and return after your errands are done to pay for it? Nowhere else does that seem ok, why is it ok at the grocery store? Kids have enough problems learning delayed gratification these days, everything is instant gratification, it really WON’T hurt to teach them discipline and patience……
@ Jennifer – Bravo, you are one of the few people left out there who actually parents their child rather than giving into their every whim! I don’t know what has happened to people that they act like their child is the boss, but it certainly isn’t the way that I was raised, or anyone before this generation.
I am a mother AND I work in a Grocery Store. I allow my duaghter to get a cookie from the cookie club when shopping, but she MUST use manners…I also see many customers come through my line with an open box of crackers, or Bear Paws with one package missing etc…that’s not a problem. It’s when people consume products without paying that causes the problem. Many times, its the customers WITHOUT children that neglect to acknowledge the snacks they’ve consumed while strolling up and down the aisles. Yes, it IS stealing, and YES, loss prevention has banned and trespassed many people for this type of behaviour. If you are going to eat the food…buy it first, get a reciept, and munch away till your hearts content.
You do not get on the bus and pay at the end of your journey, do you? Do you pump gas, drive around, and then pay? Do you wear the clothes outside before purchasing? ….exactly…
Pay First, Then Eat Canada? I don’t want to eat Canada, it’s my favorite country.
don’t assume this parent is stealing.. maybe the bakery gave them a free cookie. My kids have often received free cookies from the bakery department. I’m sure when my kids were toddlers(when they were acting up in the store) I have opened a 24 package of raisins to give them one little package to keep them occupied.. I didn’t steal the Raisins! I paid for them when I got to the cash.. I just let the cashier know the package was opened so she wouldn’t loose the rest of them on the floor! So please don’t assume us parents are stealing.. You’ll know what i’m talking about once you have children!
Few days ago I saw this asian man go into an asian supermarket, grabbed a bunch of grapes, walked away and starting eating. So maybe it’s not the JUST the kids. But it’s so INFURIATING because as a fellow asian, these people make us look bad. TWO – people like this as adults are going to think it’s ok when their kids do it – hence, vicious cycle.
Like it’s not even an issue of race or whatever. I’ve seen Caucasian and indian children do that too, aside from asian ones. It all comes down to – why aren’t the parents telling their kids that this is wrong?
I feel that for those who strongly opposes kids from eating the product before paying hasn’t dealt with difficult kids in grocery stores or in general enough.
I don’t get where one gets off passing a comment that insinuates that most parents don’t actually parent. As a parent who doesn’t give my children food at the grocery store or give into their whining and need to meet every want I am offended that such a broad array of people have been lumped together as parents who let their children be bosses. How can you lump a whole world of parents together which such a statement? This certainly has turned into quite the hot topic!
@Kaguya
Dont you think it is bit ridiculous that you feel that the actions of some relect on your whole race? Do you think the majority thinks that way when one of them does something socially unacceptable?
And the article was about a parent taking food from the bulk section. I doubt many parents say please charge me for 30 grams from bin 123, that’s probably why they take it from bullk, they feel they don’t have to pay.
I don’t have kids but if you know you are going to the grocery could you not easily bag some snacks and take them to the store with you?
As the mother of three children aged 1, 6 and 14, I have not fed them unpaid for merchandise, because I was taught it was wrong. I have left stores because of a screaming child, or simply ignored them while finishing.
Some advise for parents who have no idea how to shop with young children: Only go shopping with well rested, fed, occupied children. When they ask for things explain why they cany have it in the store= teaching patience, respect, if the “i wants” continue, explain we will leave the store if you don’t behave, and if it continues LEAVE THE STORE. Shop another day!
Parents need to be the ones in control!!!
+1 mupiel
TC needs to relax. Your boyfriend had to RESTRAIN you? Puh-lease. Had to restrain you from whipping out your iPhone and start blogging right there you mean?
I eat things in the grocery store if I have th urge. Then I pay for it at the till but keeping the package. Obviously eating out of bulk bins doesn’t work this way, and I’d never do that. But running up to a mother of three and screaming THIS IS WHY MY CASHEWS COST 19.99/KG!! is insane.
You’re crazy.
Better go run up to Moxies clerks and ask them to stop being so hot too.
I say that if the store has a problem with it, let them deal with it. We can’t go around judging or policing people wherever we go.
To those saying it’s stealing until it’s paid for… What about when you go into restaurants? You eat first, pay later in those establishments?
The OP obviously doesn’t have kids and one day will completely understand and I hope looks back to this post.
I have on occasion when my kids were a little younger done the same thing, however I paid for it when I got to the cashier. To remind myself and to make a point to my kids I would grab the brown bag anyways and write the code on it. You know, 4509 x 2. I absolutely do not consider that stealing. Snacking on things that are required to be weighed is a whole other thing though.
@ Dandelion – I’m not talking about parents like you. I’m talking about those who give their kid everything that they want just to keep them quiet, which backfires in the end. Sadly, most parents nowadays do that, we all see it every day. To those parents who aren’t afraid to say no, or discipline their children, I commend you. It’s the other parents that I am referring to in my comment.
I have three kids younger than 6, and I always teach them buy befor eat! I think it’s a important life lesson.
Just to also point out, the OP said it was from the bulk section of the bakery. I’m not sure about the rest of you but the bulk section of the bakery in my neighborhood doesn’t require you to weigh anything. It’s all priced per unit.
The OP has no idea if this woman was going to tell the cashier to punch in the code of whatever it was they ate. I do find it amusing the OP had to have her “bf hold her back”. What a scene. What a joke.
I have never been so offended on smart canucks before and honestly reading this makes me want to go dive directly in the bulk bin and feed my entire family with out paying…of course that wouldn’t punish the offensive people on smart canucks….and would instead hurt the shop keepers so I won’t but seriously guys…some of you are being very judgmental.
I have a two year old. We sometimes open up something while there and pay for it later at the cash. While you talk about children not having manners, sometimes I think adults have no manners (i.e. this is a life choice you made it now do it well). Not everyone actively makes a choice to have children and not everyone is prepared to take on the responsibility. You can’t always be prepared…no one can There are moments that are unexpectedly stressful as a parent and reducing that stress seems fine to me especially if you pay in the end. Frankly I always pay at the grocery but if some family sneaked by and increased the cost of something on occasion by feeding a hungry young child, I honestly wouldn’t mind. We’re talking a few cents worth of food here and there people. The groceries throw out more food than you can imagine.
While we are talking about the good old days. We used to say it takes a village to raise a child. It sounds like to me everyone wants everyone else to take responsibility for their own (just make sure that someone pays me my pension in the end) and not bother to help one another anymore. Whats up with that smart canucks. And all you parent-less judgement makers ought to consider baby sitting in a grocery store before they make snap judgements.
I totally do this all the time with my younger kids 0-2 and then I teach my older kids about waiting to pay for items, seems many people on this thread have forgotten how irrational young children can be, the very sort of people who make you feel terrible if your kid has a tantrum as I am sure their kids were always angels all of the time…
I always pay for what my kids consume and I never let them have items that have to be weighed etc and when they are old enough to understand yes I do teach them, stop being so darn judgmental!!
Honestly, she is talking about bulk food and produce. Those are things that have no bar code to pass to the clerk. Thanks to your entitled children eating these, the cost of my grocery bill is going up.
And I definitely do not give in to my every kids whim, wow this thread stinks….
Oink, she said it was the BULK section of the BAKERY. Those items don’t require to be weighed as they are priced per unit. She even made reference to a chocolate croissant in her second paragraph. Last time I checked my croissant’s weren’t being weighed.
Regardless of whether you pay for it at check out, it is THEFT until you do. After years in retail I’ve seen far too many people snack around the store and not pay for it. Your kids who you allow to snack before they buy, become those annoying adults to eat handfuls of grapes before they buy them. We can’t charge you for food in your stomach, so just don’t eat it. Why is this concept hard for people? It’s not a car, you can’t test drive before you buy it. You shouldn’t shop hungry anyway, it makes you buy things you wouldn’t normally. You wouldn’t open a steak and take a nibble to make sure it was fresh would you? It’s no different than eating produce, bakery, or shelf items. You are not teaching your children self control or to not throw tantrums when they don’t get what they want. If this is something they always do, bring a ziploc of Cheerios, don’t open that box on the shelf. Open packages make a cashiers job more difficult because now not only are we making sure we don’t smush something, we’re also trying to make sure the package stays closed. Please, don’t be a store snacker.
Thank you, for years I have fought myself not to get after people who do this. I was taught as a child it was wrong, and I now have taught my children the same (one of whom has a severe behavioral disorder). If they are hungry, they can wait, or I have snacks usually stashed in the purse or glove compartment. Over time I have found that if you let them get away with something, they will try it every time, and it will become habit. The children both have and are learning self-discipline and respect well shopping, if it is not paid for it is not ours. If they are whiny and wanting something, How can it be a treat if the child is begging for it? It isn’t, if let go on becomes a power struggle.
tattood_princess, since you think it’s theft until you pay for something does that mean restaurants are full of thieves?
What if I stand in the line up with 1 box of cookies to purchase it before I start shopping so I can snack on it? Am I causing more work for the cashiers because I’m holding the line up? Should I wave my receipt around the market so people know I paid for it? Don’t worry though, I’ll make sure to bag the item myself, because apparently open boxes are too difficult.
I work as a cashier in a Giant Tiger store and you would be amazed at the things we find back on the shelves! When I tell some of my stories to people I know who have never worked in retail, they often don’t believe me! People who eats in the store and actually pays for the food afterwards are a minority in our store. And this does not only apply to children; adults also consume food in the store.
To state some examples: one bottle out of a 6-pack you can’t resale, pepperoni slices or hot dog sausages that are “scanable”, Yop beverages, chocolate bars, pizza pockets… Some people even eat one granola bar out of the box and put it back there for another customer to buy.
Plus, one time, a guy drank a 3$ juice bottle while shopping, and he wanted to pay for it but his card was declined so he left the store without paying.
But in my opinion, if you know you can pay for it, I don’t see why it is wrong. However, as a 23 years old, I would be really ashamed of doing it.
Wow – this thread is as popular as the “Fat people in an airplane” article. Lame.
Sunday- As a part of ANY retail training, employees are taught it is THEFT. If you can’t wait until the end of your shopping trip to eat your precious cookies, pay for them, hold onto your receipt, then continue your shopping. I thought that was common sense, but apparently not. How would you be holding the line up because you wish to pay for an item? I’m pretty sure that’s what they’re there for. The “difficult to bag” comment, was geared more towards those who choose to snack on non-resealable snack items, such as bags of nuts, cookies, and worst of all, chips. I’ve seen it far too often and it’s disgusting.
Restaurants are a completely different thing and I’m pretty sure have absolutely nothing to do with the original post, therefore your comment is irrelevant.
I agree that eating first paying later feels like stealing. Being raised in Asia, I was so shocked when I first came to Canada and saw people eating in stores or paying for a open bag of chips. When I was a kid, I was always told that before we paid for the item, we do not own the item and therefore opening it would be stealing. In the past I thought it was a culture difference.
I do not have kids yet but I used to take care of my nieces and have somehow developed a habit to carry some candy and snacks with me whenever I need to be with them. Funny thing is that their parents never remember and always have to run to a convenience store to pick something up to treat them.
Until you are in the store with a starving 1 or 2 years old … you just don’t get it. I more than often often opened a pack of sliced cheese or single wrap cookies just to be able to finish my shopping.
I don’t let my kids eat stuff from the bulk section or anything sold per pound, but my sanity is worth the “look” I might get from people like you.
“I’ve seen many kids in grocery stores calm as can be and very well mannered.. and they didn’t have a doughnut or anything of the like in their hands. Why? Because the parents know how to say NO to their child.”
I have to say that I disagree with this comment. Just because a child is behaving and being well mannered does not mean that this is due to great parenting. Some children are, by nature, quiet children who never try to push anything. Other children, are by nature, loud and try to push everything, no matter how many times they are told “NO”.
As for the topic of discussion, yes, I think this is wrong. I realize that there will always be circumstances that might on occasion excuse this type of behavior. But generally, I think it is wrong to eat the food before you pay for it, even if you intend to pay for it, because something might happen that will leave you unable to pay for it. I refuse to give my children food before paying for it, if they really want a snack and I haven’t brought one with me, I make a point of bringing the food to the cash and paying for it before I allow them to eat it.
I`ve never eaten anything in a store I didn`t purchase before hand [ie gum]. my local dollarama has recently put up signs on the doors and in the candy and pop sections of the store informing people not to open any unpurchased items in the store.. My first thought is always `duh`I was brought up not eating things during shopping trips I have yet to purchase. Plus I`m forever changing my mind during the course of shopping trip so ya.
My sisterinlaw and I did in once when her son was 1 year old.. this was the time we didn`t know his hives were actually his severe peanut allergy and he was fussing and freaking out. I went to give him his bottle of apple juice, which was glass, it managed to slip from my hand and smashed on the floor of the grocery store. No drinks left in her diaper bag we asked the manager if we could open a juice box for him before she`d purchased it. we got the go ahead and paid for the juice boxes at the end. But since then my SIL always overloads her bags with more than enough snacks and drinks for the kids or if an adult gets partched=)
I don`t have kids but looking after my niece and nephew from babies to toddlers to young kids [still 5 and 6] I do understand the frustration if you don`t have snacks or drinks or something to distract your kids with. But thankfully my neice and nephew will only bother you a few times until you explain that good things come to those who wait, concept. They relax and help out with the shopping.. but sometimes they do get tired and fussy and have fits. If it gets bad usually I`m shopping with someone else so I can give them money to purchase an item the kids want and have them wait outside or tap the recipt to the box and let them back into the carts.
Like I said I was brought up to purchase items first than eat them not eating while shopping before purchase.
If you really can`t avoid it at least ask an employee before ripping open a box.. then they`ll make a mental note for when you`re at the cash.
i’m a parent to 4 kids under 6, and i totally get what stephania is saying here!. BE PREPARED! Take a snack with you if they like something off the shelve tell them they have to WAIT for it. Teaching your children to be patient is just as important as teaching them to eat at the table, or to share. Kids learn fast. You might think a 18 month wont notice but its interesting as to how much they remember and repeat.
ofcourse it is somewhat about the fact if you pay for it or not, even if you do pay for it, the child doesnt learn how to restraint itself.
I think there’s one factor that people must have skimmed over.
The article mentioned the word “Bulk” but it was talking about Bulk Bakery goods which aren’t weighed.
Basically she saw a mother give her kids a doughnut or croissant and was livid even though she had no idea if the mother took note of the bin code and was going to pay for it.
I find it shameful this article is posted on this site, it’s very judgmental and one sided.
I just wanted to add, if you have kids – you carry a extra diaper right? just add in a snack, for older kids PLAN your day so that they have already eaten. I’ve seen parents open boxes in front of me to feed their crying kids, and my kids turn to me to do the same… but when i tell them we have to PAY first, i think it teaches them alot, and thats worth a 5 min talk in the cookies aisle i think.
On the subject of diapers? Are there any parents who would grab a package of diapers off the shelf, diaper their baby and pay later? What about grabbing a children’s tylenol bottle or thermometer?
omg..i’m so guilty.when my 2 little boys were little, i would open up the box of cheerios, or whatever else was suitable in my shopping cart, and start letting them munch to keep them preoccupied so that i could finish my shopping. i would absolutely pay for the open box of food at checkout time.
@really?
Sadly, yes. Some people see an unfavorable act, and then they look at who’s committing that act. People see race, and gender, and that’s the persons identity at first glance. I’m not saying everyone judge people like this, but some do. If I continually see teenagers littering, then I’m inclined to think “many teenagers litter” as opposed to thinking, it’s just that individual. Same thing here. If I see a certain race doing something such as snacking on stuff then walking away, it reflects badly (or at least, not positively) on that certain race. I know race has nothing to do with said article, i was merely commenting on something I saw at supermarkets. It doesn’t help that I continually see the people of the same race doing stuff like this. (Not being racist here…that man was of my own race. So I’m not proud of it.) I just wish that before people do stuff like that, they realize that people DO judge.
And well I agree with you. If your kid is going to be hungry (or possibly be hungry), bring some snacks with you to eat along the way. When I was a kid and hungry at the store, I don’t complain, period. It’s a matter of how one is brought up I suppose. If my kid was SO hungry and making a tantrum and begging for food, I might let them eat something but even then, that’s really rare. I’d probably just tell them to suck it up, whether they’re young or not. It’s important to teach restraint when they’re young. And if you open up a box of cookies for them to eat once, then they’ll think it’s ok for next time.
It’s not that they allow their kids to do it; the adults themselves do the same thing. I’ve witness this occasionally working as a cashier at a supermarket.
To those asking the questions if moms carry around diapers and how they should carry extra snacks I find it very sad.
We do the best we can. We aren’t perfect. Sometimes we forget. But as you can see from this horrible discussion, all eyes are on us. We are judged, we are blamed, we are scrutinized by people without children and by people who have children but claim to be perfect.
What the OP doesn’t understand, is if she did confront this woman without knowing all the facts that woman would go home more than likely in tears. And yet she has the nerve to question humanity? Look at this entire thread and then start question humanity.
I had worked for a big name grocery store before and I have seen this happen almost everyday (mostly weekend when family bring their kids in to shop). I can sort of understand how hard it is for parents to do their shopping with their kids around them. The kids scream, yell, run around, and act all so hyper. We are told that it is okay for parents to allow their kids to eat anything in the store as long as the parent pays for it afterward. We (the staff) just have to inform LP (loss prevention) to keep as eye out for them as they watch from those HD cameras. If the parents does not pay for all the eaten items in the end and it does happen (occasionally) then LP will be chasing after your butt (very difficult to escape and trust me, you don’t want this to happen). It gets nasty if your caught because they will ask you to wait while they call the police and your kids will have to watch as you get questions and possibly a criminal charge for shoplifting.
Bottom line —- It’s fine as long as you (parent) pay for EVERYTHING!
I’m a mom to 4 little ones and I have never allowed my kids to eat anything from the bulk bin nor have I opened a box of something I haven’t yet purchased. I have brought snacks when they were younger, but I don’t see the need to teach them it’s ok to take something in s store you haven’t yet paid for. Because I didn’t start it when they were young, they don’t expect it now.
I would never comment to someone else if I see their kids eating simply because they may have brought it. I do have a friend who has always allowed her kids to eat items from their grocery cart and it’s foolish – they’re older now and walking around with open boxes of crackers in the store, dropping them as they go and at times declaring they don’t like them and leaving them on a shelf. Really nice for the other shoppers.
Those of you trying to compare eating in a restaurant before paying and the situation here are ridiculous.
Eating in a restaurant, and then paying, is the norm, not the exception.
Eating in a grocery store, before paying, is NOT the norm, it IS the exception.
Frankly, I find it amazing that a community of couponers isn’t more aware of the money wasted by impulse purchases if you simply must buy your kid a box of cookies in order to survive the trip. I get that sometimes shit happens, and even the best laid plans can go awry. It’s the habitual people here who seem to do it more often than not that completely boggle my mind.
I have worked in a Grocery Store for over 15 years, and have seen these actions time and time again. It is actually considered “theft” to consume an item in the store before purchasing it. What happens when the customer gets to the cash desk, and doesn’t have a means to pay for it??? (ex: forgot bank card, credit card is declined etc..)
As an employee, we must pay before consuming anything in the store, and provide a receipt. Why is it that people think they can walk around feeding themselves and their children without a problem??
What if there is a product that needs to be weighed for purchase (ex: bananas, apples) In that case, the cashier does need to have the full product (not half eaten) to be rang through the cash. (Sometimes I would have to leave my desk or call an employee to bring me a full product to weigh on my scale)
Unfortunately, staff can’t say a word. We are told to advise management and let them handle the situation with security if need be.
I truly don’t understand why people shopping with their children don’t bring snacks and toys to entertain them during a shopping trip. I did it with my son all the time and never had a problem.
These kinds of actions sometimes lead to theft and contribute to price increases.
Bottom line, just pay for your food before you eat it and make life easier for everyone involved!!
TallNFunny thats interesting because I’ve scored so many great deals on parents who do that! They take one diaper change their baby then actually leave the pack! Then the mark the pack down to 80% off lol. Thats def of poor taste.
@Sally – Yes, I could see how that makes for a great deal, but definitely in poor taste and part of the reason theft is brought up in this argument where there is no intent to steal.
AND should there be exceptions made to store policies and social norms for parents with kids who FREAK out in grocery stores???? I think you KNOW your kids are going to FREAK out with hunger, boredom or not getting their way, that is all the MORE reason to bring snacks from home or buy something from the store before shopping and keep the receipt.
Just watched a commercial for Fiber 1 on exactly this situation. A woman is munching away on the cereal at the cash and then rips off the UPC for the cashier to scan. The cashier doesn’t look too happy. Maybe this practice is more common than we realize!!!
Personally, I would wait until my item was purchased before consuming.
How long are people in the grocery store that their kids are that bad?
If I’m going to be there for 2 hours then I’m gonna bring snacks, but if not the kids can behave while we shop. I have a 3 year old and 6 month old and I have brided my 3 year old a few times, ie. you can get a pizza bun but you do not get it unless you are good in the store. I would never give it to him while in the store because isn’t that defeat the whole purpose?
Also I’ll give my 3 year old the flyer to look at or ask him to help me look for things.
So what have we learned from all of this? We are all bad parents and those of you who have no children will be much better than us and WILL NEVER LET YOUR CHILDREN DO THIS.
Congratualtions and come back so we can all say I told you so in a few years. lol Seriously this thread is cracking me up.
I used to work at a grocery store and was a little grossed out when people would bring up their old chocolate bar wrappers or packaging that their kids were gnawing on. I don’t want to touch something that your childern goobered all over and I’m sure you dont want my hands, which have been handling dirty money all day to touch something that will go near your kids mouth again.
From the other side, if a parent brings snacks along and the children are eating at the store it’s hard to tell whether the snacks were brought or from the store unless it’s in a container from home.
I’ve also seen how the produce is handled at the back of the store, not the worst conditions but I wouldnt eat an apple that hasn’t been washed first.
Im pretty sure every parent goes to the grocery store more than once with their children so you should know after multiple trips to bring snacks or toys to keep the kids occupied. Whether you plan on purchasing it or not, its flat out stealing as you have NOT paid for it. And how do you expect responsible parents to teach their children stealing is wrong when the kid in the cart next to them is chomping down on a chocolate bar? Its unfortunate these days that the apple doesnt fall far from the tree ..
It’s pathetic how many people on here defend this kind of behavior – shame on you, shame on you! If you cannot teach your kids to be patient, then what can you actually teach them? All these absolutely lame excuses that “parents” in this discussion came up with, made me laugh. When I was little my parents would never ever let me touch any of the snacks purchased until we bought them and left the store. I will continue teaching my own kids the same lessons. Others should stop and think of what manners their kiddies will grow up with in 10 years time.
Wow! My mother must have been super woman! She had five kids (raised the first three by herself for awhile after her first husband died of cancer while she was in the same hospital, giving birth to their third child). She managed to get us all through the grocery store without ever opening a box until we got home, letting us run wild through the store, or giving in to our whining for treats at the checkout. I learned to do without some of the things that I wanted and to wait for others. I’ve never had an issue with weight, partially because I still know how to say “no.”
I personally don’t get all bent out of shape if parents give their kids food in the grocery store. It’s the excuses that I’m reading here that are driving me crazy! You feed your kids in the store because that’s what you choose to do, not because it’s too hard not to. You’re a parent. You have to power to say “NO!”
Chill out! There are much bigger things in life to stress over than a little kid getting something to eat at a grocery store when you have no idea of the full circumstances.
And also, what is this doing on a deals blog anyway? Are we here to look for deals or worry about what other people are doing in the grocery store???
FunkyMunky, I’m glad you are teaching your kids manners, now when will you teach them to be non judgmental?
Your post wasn’t exactly polite either. Questioning what parents can actually teach their children? Get off the horse honey, we aren’t all perfect.
Dont you people see that Stephania is a busy body? If you look at her past posts, shes hates bottled water, and is very upset about value village clothes being sorted differently? Meanwhile she is out to get any item she can think of for next to nothing. So really is she out for the big grocery chains, or for the consumer?
I agree with the original post. I was once with someone who picked up a bottled drink and opened it right up and started drinking…I actually felt really embarrassed to be seen with them. It just looks..I don’t know..cheap? Dishonest? Like they don’t have any patience, really. To some of the posters saying there are bigger problems in the world – I think its more the principle behind it. We live in a “me first, I want it now” society – compared to a huge percentage of the world who live on less than $1 a day, we are so greedy and ungrateful. I do not have kids yet, but am pregnant with my first. I believe effective parenting, and teaching patience can minimize these kinds of grocery store meltdowns. If my kid were to grab something off the shelf and start eating, I would be mortified. Its all a matter of opinion.
certainly written by someone without kids. Grocerry stores do not have a problem with kids opening a snack item and parents paying for them at check out… someone needs to relax… and ofcoarse im only talking about circumstances when the toddler is getting crazy… as they get older they need to be taught to wait…
You’ve obviously missed the plenty of adults who eat stuff as they shop too 😉
And how is it stealing if you pay for it? Bulk section is an issue as you need to weigh it, but anything else can easily be paid for if partly consumed. The cashiers don’t bat an eyelid if someone tells them to scan an empty package or enter two bagels when you only have one left, clearly it is done frequently enough that they are used to it.
Wow! I can not believe how many people really are so ignorant and judgmental. As a parent of a child with non-visable special needs, I have to deal with other people’s judgements on a regular basis. Pretty much every time I leave the house.
Sometimes I wish people would just shut up and keep their opinions about my parenting to themselves. When I’m shopping and some girl is wearing a mini-skirt in a shopping centre and my kids ask why she is naked, I don’t walk up to the person and say you need to leave the shopping centre and put pants on because my kids don’t want to see your butt cheeks. I tell my children that different people dress different ways. I think teaching patience and good manners is important, but tolerance of people with different values is also an important lesson.
With my 2 small children I didn’t sleep through the night for 5 years and sometimes I still don’t. Yes, I fed them food at the grocery store sometimes before paying, but always payed for it at the checkout. No, my children didn’t get to do this every time we went shopping, it was a rare occasion. Honestly of all the episodes we have had at the grocery store, for someone to complain about something so trivial is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard.
And for all the parents out there that think they’re so perfect and can get their errands done quickly and easily with no issues. Get off your high horse and Use your extra time to help someone with a special needs child and gain some understanding of how lucky you are.
Is it possible they got a FREE cookie from the bakery. Most grocery stores give out free cookies to kids if they are with an adult.
I used to be a cashier and sooooooo many times people would come up and shrug and say ‘he ate a banana’ or ‘she ate a pear’ all items that had to be weighed…soooo I charged them an extra dollar. Granted they told me their little angels ate it ..but at least bring another so I could weigh it.
Not to mention the cleanliness of sticking your hands in the bulk bins!!! oh how cute your little finger was just up your nose and now it’s touching something someone else may eat!!!!!
I have no problem eating something before you pay for it (I’m diabetic and have been caught w low blood sugars) BUT PAY FOR IT!
smart canucks…not petty canucks…pat your self for having manners and morals but don’t preach to others and especially don’t go name calling and being rude because then you should check yourself for being as poorly behaved has the subject of your verbal abuse…remember well behaved people don’t say anything when they don’t have anything nice to say (giving people dirty looks=saying something rude). To the original poster OMG remove that stick! JEEZ…anger management much?
Hey….if you or your child must eat while grocery shopping why not go to the in store snack bar… order, pay, eat food then go grocery shop.
I may be able to understand having to give a child something to eat in a desperate situation…but an adult ??? Thats inexcusable!!
Ok ….here comes the low blood sugar comments….I must eat …. I must eat…. I can’t wait….oh boy…
Spare me
& whoever is comparing eating in grocery stores with eating in restaurants has got to be the stupidest person alive LOL
I bring food for my son to snack on but always wonder if people look at me as if I’ve taken something off the shelf. I don’t think it is acceptable to take from the bulk bin (how would you add the weight on and thats disgusting putting your hand in there).
I have openned a box once while shopping to keep my son (when he was 9 months old) happy but paid for it at checkout.
I think for a 3 year old who is old enough to be able to negotiate with, it will not be acceptable, but if you have a 1 year old you will know that they do not understand these concepts. Plus, if you have a 7 month old that you are breastfeeding and starting on solids, many people will not tolerate you whipping your boob out to feed your kid. In fact, some store managers might kick you out. I have never heard of anyone being kicked out for openning a box of biscuits for a baby.
I agree with KME- most grocery stores give out free goodies to kids, so it could be they got it for free
I’m lucky enought to have an older iPad and my son now is distracted by playing games or watching shows on the iPad! All parents should have one!
“Shame on you, shame on you.”
Still lots of finger-wagging going on, it’s incredible. My personal opinion is that judgmental people should be ashamed of themselves. Honestly, some people have nothing better to do than look down on other people’s parenting.
“I was taught from a young age that this is WRONG!”
Well, aren’t you lucky? We were all taught different things at different times. I was taught that wearing shoes indoors is disgusting- and yet, I have American friends who think that NOT wearing shoes indoors is disgusting. Funny, hrm? I was also taught that it’s rude to approach strangers and pick fights, but I guess we weren’t all ‘raised right’.
“If you eat without paying, it’s STEALING!”
Technically, it’s only stealing if you try to leave the store without paying. Yeah, it would suck if the debit card didn’t work for whatever reason (though, honestly, how often does this happen? And why aren’t you checking your bank balance before shopping to make sure it DOESN’T happen? And why don’t you have a back-up plan, just in case? An emergency pre-paid credit card, etc?) but, even then, most people would probably have enough pocket change kicking around to pay for an item that was consumed, even if they didn’t have the cash to pay for the WHOLE ORDER. “What, your POS machine is broken? Darn. Well, cancel my transaction, then. However, Junior at a 79-cent donut, so here’s a couple quarters and a dime.” If you don’t have the cold-hard-cash to pay for the drink you opened? That’s another issue entirely.
“If you give your kid food to shut them up, you’re a bad parent!”
People who don’t have the whole story really should just keep their traps shut. Try taking a disabled child and a toddler shopping, and watch one of them throw a tantrum. Try to reason with them? You’ll get spit on for your lack of discipline. Spank them? You’ll get called out for being abusive. Whip out a snack for them? Sure, that works in ideal situations- unless your toddler decides at that particular moment that they actually DON’T like granola bars any more, and they only want to eat craisins or some sort of buttered noodle. Kids change their mind on a whim.
Childless folk might pipe up, ‘Well, then just ditch your cart and go home.’ Well, fancy that! Because parents have so much spare time and cash that they can afford to waste the gas and just go shopping on a different day. Right.
Well, people, I’m glad that all you superior folk have successfully pulled off raising robotic Stepford Kids. Personally, I like my kids to have a little spark in them. And while I, myself, have never opened a product without paying for it… I choose to not condemn or point fingers at those who do. And when some over-excited kid accidentally bumps into me, I don’t shoot his parents a look of disgust; I give them an understanding smile and a shrug, and wander off to mind my own business.
I didn’t read all the reply but I have this to say, I only have one kid and he’s 21 month old. There was only one time I let him eat something it wasn’t pay for but there was a long line up and he was hungry when I went to customer service to try to pay for the item, they told me to just keep the wrapper and pay for it later and feed my child now. I didn’t feel comfortable but I was shopping with my mom and she takes forever. However, I can see one day I might change my mind my son is very strong well and when I say no, he does it on purpose. I still say no and pull him away but so far he has not learn the lesson. Most of the time I am able to either wear him or strip him in the shopping cart but as he gets older, I can see one day he will be able to just grab the stuff even if I say no. I am not saying I’ll stop teaching him not to but I am saying sometimes I can see it might be out of the control of the adult. If they grab something from the bulk bin and put it in their mouth before you can physically stop them then what happens. I know I’ll try to paying for it at the cashier but are you going to try to dig it out of his mouth and put it back ?
I am not sure what the answer is. I am glad I have not been put into that situation yet but one day who knows. I just caught him 2 weeks ago take chocolate from the pantry and yesterday beef Jerky. Those are of course paid for since it’s at home but they were not given to him. If fact we consistently told him he can not have them but he just took them.
I also see some people trying to taste produce before they buy, I normally only do it to boxed produce that’s at a fix price and would only eat one. I am not buying a big box of blue berries for $10 which I did once and everyone of them is really really sour. I am sorry if I eat one and it’s sweet I buy the box I ate from if it’s not I leave it. I don’t eat it as a sneak. Am I wrong? Sometime if it’s very good I might buy 2 boxes. And that I really only do for grapes and blueberries and nothing else because I have not found a way for me to judge those.
All I am saying is please do not judge too quick. You do not know what’s the story behind what you saw at a glance. I do agree you really shouldn’t eat things you haven’t yet pay for but if you were told by the story it’s okay or if you lost control of your kid not from lack of trying, what can you do other then try to pay of it at the cashier?
people in glass houses says…- completely agree couldn’t have said better myself
geesh… mom does it all the time………then complains why the prices are so high !! ya think I`m gonna change a 90 yr old !!!???
haha I would never have dared ask for food at the store when I was a kid and neither would my sister. I have no prblem with people feeding their kids stuff that has a set cost if they feel the need. Feeding them stuff they won’t pay for later? It’s stealing even if it is for your kids or the good of other shoppers.
You obviously don’t have kids…..take a chill pill
I am also diabetic and would rather have people give my looks for eating rather than being in a diabetic coma.
So spare me!!!
I don’t believe the “my kid is hungry I need to make them shut up” EXCUSE… I bet your kid goes for those wrapped caramel squares or that chocolate muffin!.. If you are afraid your kid his hungry ..then pay for one of those premade sandwhichs !…what I don’t understand is why people would take kids who are hungry to the grocery store??? EAT first then shop. I believe majority of the times kids just want something sweet to eat to keep them happy and not because they are truly hungry…if they are truly hungry then take an apple from the bag of apples you are buying (ones not measured by weight) or give them half of a premade deli sandwhich….I bet they will say that they want that chocolate muffin instead ! *sticks tongue out*
These moms were probably at the grocery store because they ran out of food, snacks, so how could they pack some in the diaper bag? I have had to do this many times before and i always save the package to pay for the item at the cash desk. Sounds like you don’t have children nor do you have sympathy for others in situations other than your own. I suggest you learn to think about what others are going through and why they may possibly be doing something that appears to be offensive in your eyes before judging others soo harshly. Your friend was wise in holding you back. I think a better question would be what is happening with people in our world when we lack the ability to sympathise with others?
I am quite taken aback that the blogger was “enraged”. That actually causes me more concern than kids eating something from the bulk section. I raised two children who didn’t eat while we were in grocery stores. That, however, doesn’t mean I was a better mother. It may just mean that I had different rules. Who knows whether the mom paid for the items at the check-out, or if she perhaps was having a day from he** that she just needed to get through? What if you had confronted her and her response was that “my mom is battling cancer and they don’t expect her to make it through the next few days”? We never know what is going on in the lives of others. Just saying…..a little more compassion and a little less judgment are usually good for all of us.
As a parent I have given my child food from the store while in it, but I go up to the 1-10 item area and pay for it separately and keep in on me while we shop. I once had a person get upset that we were opening some baby snacks in the store until she became embarrassed when she saw the receipt showing I had paid for it only moments before!!
How come as an ECE I can have 15 toddlers sitting in a circle and walking by the lunch table to go wash their hands as another ECE puts out their lunch and they don’t eat it, yet parents say they can’t “grocery shop” without giving their children a snack? YOU teach them patience and yes if you are doing this continually children will think it’s ok in the future (once a child is 5 years of age they are who they are and it is extremely hard to teach them patience, discipline and morals afterwards). That being said I do understand why you might forget to pack a snack etc but this is about morals and taking things YOU CAN NOT PAY FOR! especially things that go by weight. Plus when you look at how often it happens I highly doubt that there are that many parents out there that just “forget” to pack a snack, they should be in the diaper bag, you are just giving your child what he/she wants instead of saying no and teaching them that they have to wait.
The other thing that bothers me this “obviously you aren’t a parent” statement! Maybe not but you don’t know what experience someone has had, I’ve practically raised my little sister, watched nieces and nephews for multiple days and take care of more children in a day then most parents could. You need to set rules and limitations for your children, sure maybe they might cry for a little bit but bring their favorite toy, entertain them and talk to them in the grocery store and they will be fine. Not all parents but a lot of them just use the food essentially as a babysitter so they can shop, which is an entirely different argument all together. yes it’s hard but in the end it’s worth the values, ethics and morals that it teaches your children.
I cannot believe this post is even up on the blog considering how extremely judgemental and childish it sounds. I’m not talking about whether or not giving a child food in the store is right or not, but about how this post sounds.
I would understand if you got this angry after you witnessed them doing it repeatedly. But from your post it doesn’t seem like that was the case. And even if it was, it would not be up to you to come up with consequences. Letting the store employees know would be a much better solution than going up to a random stranger and giving them a lecture about it.
Also another thing that really bothered me was how rude you sounded. You were going to ask her “how dare [she] teach [her] kids to steal” or give her some snarky comment about driving up the store prices?? Is this the humanity you speak of?
I’m glad your bf held you back. But if he hadn’t, if you had the intention to let her know politely your thoughts on the subject, that would also have been fine in my opinion. But, that also doesn’t seem to be the case with your post.
I am not a parent, so I cannot even imagine how hard parenting would be, so I am not here to judge others for their parenting styles, especially when it is about something little like this!
Seriously?
My grocery store always had cookies in the bakery for children. It was a way to make a boring task something fun. Would we be terrible and misbehave without the cookie? No. Our parents raised us properly. It was just a nice treat from a home-town grocer. Treats aren’t always about quieting your child, or instant gratification; sometimes it is just a treat and as long as it is paid for who are you to judge?
I really think you need to keep your parenting pro-tips to yourself.
Actually at our grocery store for the last 18 years they have a kids club… the kids are issued a little card and it entitles them to a free bakery item of their choice which they may eat in the cart while shopping with their parents. They are also allowed to drink water and if the donuts or longjohns or individual buns are not to your childs liking then you may get some cold cuts or something else small from the employees. I have enjoyed this with both of my children (ages 17 now and 9) so I can tell you that that grocery store has lots of happy children and parent and not really many whiney, hungry kids! They have never done this at any other grocery store as they were told the rules by me in each other store!
I’m sorry, I made a mistake in my last post thinking it was just one mother giving her child some food. I just realized there were two different parents that did that. But I still stand by everything else I said.
I would be more worried about the parent who’s child says “we don’t act like that, right Mommy?” than the parent who’s concerned about their child’s comfort during a long shopping trip. I would bet money on who’s child was going to have “issues” as a teenager.
i remember when was little during a long grocery trip we would open a bag of chips and munch on them. we did pay for them at the end of the trip. i don’t think it’s a huge deal. If you think it’s wrong that’s fine don’t allow your kids to do that. but i agree with the poster above, the tone of your article was very rude and judgemental.
*unnecessarily
I think people are finally giving the finger to the big man.. (Not God. The corporate hogs that exploit the workers and make huge profit from the masses that pay so much more than what the item is worth. That revenue right there, I consider it stolen from the mouths of the people.
On a side note, this post and comments afterward reminded of how I used to go grocery shopping with my 90 year old neighbour when I was just a wee young buck. My neighbour would grab my brother and I a can of coke and tell us to drink it while we were shopping ’cause he was going to pay for it at the cashier. I thought this was harmless and was always stoked for the pop. Turns out he didn’t actually pay for the coke but actually collected the refund on the empty can. When I finally was old enough to figure this out (it was long after he passed away) I was in hysterics and even reflecting on it now makes me chuckle. There’s nothing quite like cunning, crotchety seniors.
You obviously don’t have kids, I’ve opened a box of cookies before to give one to my screaming toddler so he would be quiet so I could shop. I still paid for the box of cookies at the end… I’ve also opened drinks before and rang it in at the end… lots of parents do it… its only stealing if you don’t pay for it at the cash.
Absolutely fascinating watching our Western world turn into one big ball of entitlement, to the extent that eating unpaid groceries, no matter how small the amount, is “no big deal”. Eating something you didn’t pay for, no matter how you justify your actions, is simply theft by definition and that notion is undefendable – except to all those here with their sense of entitlement.
This microcosm example is a snapshot of our moral decline. It seems it is becoming easier and easier for people to excuse any kind of behaviour with their “take it from the man” or “if my kid is quiet, I’ll buy more”. What ever happened to taking responsibility and bringing a snack along. That would be too much effort for the “entitlement’ers”. What a pathetic bunch.
I also think its funny that you say it’s morally wrong to do that but you don’t think it’s morally wrong to verbally assult a stranger…
I remember my mom giving me a box of animal crackers while she was shopping when I was a child on more than one occasion. I’m fairly certain that this caused no long-term psychological effects. I also remember she telling me to hold onto the box because the cashier would have to scan it so she could pay for it. She wasn’t trying to shut me up or give in to my every whim. I was simply hungry and she knew that we’d be busy for a couple of hours. Bringing your own snacks would be preferable, but probably not possible in every situation.
Even though my mom gave me something to eat while shopping, I still understood what stealing was. When I was on a shopping trip with my friend and her mom and was told by that adult to go ahead and take whatever I wanted from the bulk bins, I didn’t. Kids aren’t stupid. Make it known that you are paying for what they are eating and explain what is okay and what isn’t.
I become enraged by social injustice, child abuse and humans exploiting the environment. Feeding a hungry child is pretty far down on my list.
Haha agree w Mandyfgsf! I really resent being called a theif! I will often buy a bunch of bananas or a bag of babybel cheese and my child will dig into them! And yes I was buying the entire package/bunch and I always inform the cashier! I do not steal! In fact, I am the type of person who donates cash that I find on the street and I once did not have enough change for parking and when I came back I had gotten away with it but I RETROACTIVELY paid bc I would otherwise consider it stealing a parking space!!! So do not tell me I have no morals bc I let my kid eat the occasional banana at the grocery store and then I pay for it! All you self righteous people would be the same ones glaring at us parents as our children scream in the aisles if they are NOT eating soemthing! And ps it does not matter if you feed them beforehand or not it is more about keeping them occupied as it is not reasonable to expect kids to be able to be quiet for 45 minutes while I shop. My child has special needs and a short attention span, and I am a single mom and I do what I can to get the job done! How dare anyone glare and judge? Shame on you!!!!!
Adults do this too, I am a cashier and can’t tell you how many times I see people take a candy bar or drink, open it and walk away. When they get confronted they say that they’ll pay for it later, but only 65% do. I see a lot of emply candy wrappers stuck in behind shelves at the end of the day. Our security guy has taken to escorting people back up front to pay for the now half eaten item, asking them how hard is it to turn from the candy display, get in the self checkout line (4 maybe 6 feet away) and pay for the damn thing? It takes change.
It makes me particularily sick to see people do this with their kids around or with kids… don’t you see that kids learn by your example and will start thinking that they can go to the makeup counter or even to the jewelry part of a store and think it’s okay to just put the stuff on and walk out with it. It is instilling in them the idea that it isn’t stealing until you decide it is, that is, until you decide to try and leave without paying for it.
I get these people’s kids back in a few years time (tweens) thinking that gum and candy is free… since mommy and daddy ‘forget’ to pay for things all of the time.
The ONLY time this is socially (or LEGALLY) acceptable is if you walk up to me and show me your medic alert bracelet and tell me that you have blood sugar issues and feel faint. Usually these people walk up and pay for the thing while they’re eating it while others keep snack size bars in their purse/car, but not in the summer of course. These people need sugar quick, but are aware that medical issues or not, they have to pay for the item, even if they are finishing eating it by the time they get to the cash.
What you need to do is teach your kids that they can’t badger you in a store or they won’t get anything they want at all. I was raised that way and am raising my kids that way, as I am working on raising respectable HUMAN BEINGS. If you can’t teach your child, at any age, that having a right fit to get what they want in any store is wrong, perhaps a babysitter watching them at home is better for you. You know what spoiled kids who throw tantrums to get what they want end up to be like? Ask Paris Hilton and Lidsay Lohan. Not my kids, my kids understand (at 4 and 7) that food is sold at the store but isn’t for eating at the store. They learned early that making a fuss got them an express trip back home with no cookies or treats, so they merely tell me what they would like, I say yes or no (not always are they happy about it, but they don’t start screaming) and they get a taste in the car. Extra cleanup in the car? Sure. But I don’t feel like a thief for an hour and a half either, until I get to the checkout.
The bottom line is a lot of people are stressed out and want to do what is easy, not thinking that they are crafting little minds for future life with other people who will expect them to follow rules. You are also teaching your children that they can be bought; you are paying them to be silent rather than teaching them why they should be in the first place. Right from wrong. Having children isn’t easy, but you are responsable for making sure they grow up to not be self-centered a**holes. Period.
As a cashier, I often ring through empty items because they were consumed during the trip. They will often tell me they have eaten a donut so add another then the amount show. I don’t think it’s wrong if they are honest, but if they aren’t then it’s totally bad.
Lots of comments here! Not sure what this has to do with coupons…
Anyone who is upset by this needs to chill. I have no children, but would prefer them to be in a cart eating something rather than running around making noise and generally being annoying. I’m 29 years old, and I will take a few bites of a donut as I put it in a bag sometimes. I will open a drink and drink it should I choose, I have yet to see a sign forbiding such behavior, nor have I ever been told to stop. I see this post as a non issue.
Jdeb, you think it is stealing if someone consumes something before they bought it because it is not theirs until they pay for it? What about at a toy store, if I am to grab the last of a certain toy, hold it in my hands and walk towards the register? Is it not mine, or can another parent forcefully take it from me and then just go on and pay for it? If it’s in my cart (or in my mouth) it is mine, and if I leave the store without paying, then and ONLY then is it stealing. Happy to clear that up for you. Oh wait, maybe they forgot their wallet? Can’t PAY!?! That can happen at a restaurant too, you know. You mention that your management wants to deal with it discretely…that is probably because its NOT A BIG DEAL! Whew! Sorry to pick on you, just wanted to get that all out.
Also, I agree with OP being a bitch, well said to Wow and others who point out how shallow this person is. We live in a wonderful country, try enjoying it for a change instead of being a stupid bimbo.
Freedom of speech is a beautiful thing baby, and stating the truth is only an insult to those that can’t handle the truth.
Stealing and then making it sound like it is ok to do so, IS pathetic. Expecting a store to feed your kids because you were too g..dam lazy or clueless to bring a snack, is pathetic. Teaching your kids that it is their right to steal, is pathetic and there is no denying this.
And….I did not verbally assult (sic) a stranger, I made a group reference. I have been on the receiving end of theft and as a result, I have no tolerance for theft, no matter how it is disguised or candy coated.
I should clarify one thing, none of my comments were directed at those who eat something out of a package but then pay for the package.
p.s. assult is spelled assault.
Holy moly. I have kids. I fed them before going to the store. We also went to the bakery to get a free cookie. But I never opened food and ate it and paid later. Regardless of your intention to pay later.. you ARE stealing. Parents that give in to their kids to shut them up are teaching their children that they can control you (cause you give in to their screams or whines), how to steal, and teaches them lack of self control (they can’t have everything NOW).
And yes, I HAVE said something to both adults and parents who do this. I think it is disgusting.
Pay first and eat later is the only way to go.
Geez…live and let live people. Do your best and move on…
It depends how you look at it. I see two sides here with the previous responses. Some of you sound like capitalists who have zero tolerance for law breaking, and will judge a starving child who steals a loaf of bread based on the same argument. This is A very Lockean approach in regards to his theory of property.
Then there are those with a Marxist ideology. As Jacques Pierre Brissot coined it, “Exclusive property is a robbery in nature”. A step further: People shoplift at the Hudson Bay company (I’m guessing) but HBC stole a lot more than any petty shoplifter can swindle, that company basically stole most of Canada! (Another big example of land redistribution would be South Africa, where many South Africans were forced into ghettos so that the Boars could own the most fertile land) (Not that I believe anyone has the right to “own” the land but they technically did steal it if going along the same lines as present day repossession of things. Its like me going up to a yacht and saying to the owner: I’m just taking over the vessel, be on your merry way.
Anyway, We do not know a stranger’s situation or their intention (ie: will pay for the item or not) so what makes you right to judge? Judge thyself. Thats the only person you have to worry about unless you are a loss prevention officer.
I sometimes eat stuff while shopping or open a bottle of water and just have cashier scan it so I can pay for it normally. I love that level of trust and honesty in our society and would hate to see it fade away.
I’m tired of reading “you don’t have kids” “you obviously don’t have children”
You’re right, I don’t personally have children BUT I am a child and youth worker in a group home of 6 youth that have outrageous behaviours and I can sure imagine what it would be like to be a parent since I play that role 60 hours a week! I’ve probabaly experienced poor behaviour more than any parent who does not have an intellectual disabled child.
Hell, I’ve had two teens totally clean the jam section onto the floor of the grocery store because they don’t get what they want! (they sure as heck aint getting it during(to stop the behaviour) OR after that behaviour either!)
Yikes… I think this debate might be as bad as the “to spank, or not to spank children!!
wow, I thought sc wanted to show a positive atmosphere. This blogger obviously has some issues. I often open a package at the grocery store to keep my two year old busy, then ALWAYS PAY FOR IT. I think its ashame that you have automatically jumped to the conclusion that the parents didn’t say anything. This blogger would also be the one complaining if there was a two year old screaming in the grocery store. Seriously get a life and mind your own business. Obviously you don’t have children of your own.
it would be my guess that this person does NOT have children. would you rather my kid screams in the grocery store or has a snack that I will pay for at the till? you decide.
All these “you obviously don’t have kids” comments are further convincing me that kids aren’t my thing!
Clearly you are not a parent. And anyone who says I am raising undisciplined and self centered children with a sense of entitlement because I let them have a strawberry or cheese string needs to give their head a shake. Because I let my daughter eat a granola bar or whatever does not mean she’ll be the worst member of society when she grows up. Seriously people get a grip. But I tell you what…next time I shop and have my 18mth old screaming bloody murder for the strawberries I put in the cart, feel free to take them and listen to them scream for an hour while I shop in peace.
So . . . what if the store is working against you? A produce manager kindly offered a banana to my son but guess what my LO wanted the next couple times we went shopping? My solution was to give him a banana and then return one from the bunch we paid for at the checkout. I made a point of showing my son what I was doing but after two times I decided to end the practice. This would be about the time he started hearing the line “It’s not ours until we pay for it.”
btw bribing your kid to shut up with sugary snacks, isn’t that just asking for obesity?
@Stephania “I definitely give parents dirty looks if they let their kids scream in public areas and do absolutely nothing. It’s not only inconsiderate, but an assault to everyone within earshot.”
Grow up. I hope I raise considerate children, not self centered ones who don’t realize that a toddler doesn’t understand their emotions and sometimes have a meltdown.
@Utho, are you EATING the toy? Of course not, and if you set it down and turn to walk away during the Christmas rush, I will snatch that sucker up no problem. I don’t care if you change your mind, it isn’t in your cart and it’s the last one, so you get to wear the dumb hat for putting it down. Will I go into your mouth and french you for that cookie you’re eating? Not even during my horny/hungriest days of pregnancy. It just ISN’T the same dude.
I work retail, you don’t get to decide that just because you stuffed an ipod down your pants but haven’t left the store yet that you’re not stealing. Can we prosecute you for stuffing it down your pants but not getting a chance to leave the store with it before we stopped you? Nope, but we can sure a hel* make sure you never shop at our store ever again.
THIS LADY MEANS EATING BULK, BASED ON WEIGHT ITEMS people, she didn’t say a box of crackers, she said items like fruit, nuts, buns, cookies and bagels by the pound. The type of thing you can’t be sure that it weighed exactly the same as it’s brother, because it was made by the baker or by nature individually. Read properly before you go calling people names!
AND FOR THE LAST TIME, A LOT of us HAVE CHILDREN and think it’s wrong, so can it with the “You SO don’t have kids” BS. I DO, and I STILL think you’re teaching your kids a VERY bad lesson and you yourself need to learn how to say NO and have it result in a child that understands they can’t rule the world if they throw a fit.
You eat food at the restaurant before you pay, same thing can happen… no bankcard, lack of funds or debit machine down… they can’t get the food back. what do these places do in these situations? Do they take your info and charge you later? could the grocery stores not do the same thing if you were for some reason unable to pay for your opened items? it is stealing if you don’t pay for it but if you pay for it, I am hard pressed to call it stealing. We as a society have alot of services we don’t pay up front for. If you don’t pay for it then you are penalized, so long as you pay for it though it is all good. I have bought a drink from a vending machine before going into a store… no receipt as it was from a vending machine and spent the rest of my shopping trip thinking that cashier was going to think I had stolen it ! LOL I have brought fruit bars from home too for my kids and thought the same thing. I would rather sometimes have the item come from the store and pay for it later as it seems more honest then the store thinking I was stealing my from home snacks ! 🙂 DEAR LORD if i brought a banana from home and have my kid eating it, Iam sure some CRITIC would think I had stolen it from the produce section. If you pay for it I see no problem with it. I would rather be in a store full of happy children eating yet to be paid for crackers then a store full of kids throwing hissy fits. BUT I AGREE EATING ITEMS THAT NEED TO BE WEIGHED IS WRONG.
I absolutely loved this comment from Stephania (the original poster):
Quote Stephania says…
July 12, 2011 at 11:45 pm
“I definitely give parents dirty looks if they let their kids scream in public areas and do absolutely nothing. It’s not only inconsiderate, but an assault to everyone within earshot.”
But she has the NERVE to mention “That is at least my hope for humanity” in her original post.
Where is your humanity? What kind of world do we live in that your bf has to hold you back from verbally abusing a woman in front of her children of doing something you actually had no idea about?
Self righteous and hypocritical.
I can almost guarantee that at least one poster stating how wrong it is to eat now pay later, has pulled a peelie off an item they haven’t and don’t intend to pay for. Now that is stealing. I could now go on a huge rant of what that teaches your children, what that says about your parents, and how you must be in some way a miserable adult. However im not that judgmental.
oh yeah and one more thing
Some parents DON’T do anything about their screaming children in public because we know NOT to give into their every whim and let them cry it out instead of giving in. And before you say, well leave then… maybe we are on our way out.
What is it that you want? You don’t want us feeding our kids snacks in the middle of grocery store and teach our children patience BUT you don’t want to hear them cry either. What exactly do YOU want from parents? And you speak of humanity. HA!
@Ian, thanks for the philosophy, but if I remember my two history degrees properly, the only people who end up listening to philosophers were politicians, and they only listened to shut them up. You’re preaching lofty ideas here brother, and this squabble ain’t going to get much loftier than people who have morals and people who want to justify their own behaviour. Nary but few are worrying about the future, and the only sense of future and history many people seem to have these days (not necessarily on here) is how well they’ll come off in history books, which they don’t seem to realise won’t be written now, but much later and by long re-crafted memories, which won’t be able to glorify our society one tenth as much as people think it will. Hindsight. She be 20-20.
Also, people aren’t on here having a spelling bee. Typos happen, get over yourself.
@Insane, you are. Children understand a lot, even at 2. They learn at 2 months that I cry, mommy comes and holds me. They will learn to do this for attention as they grow. They learn at 2, I scream, mommy (here, you, not I) gives me whatever I want to shut me up. At 12 they will learn I slam door, I get new cell phone. At 18 they learn that you can’t legally do anything and the next thing you know she’s living with tommy the face tattoo guy in downtown TO. Keep giving in there girl… easier is always better after all right?
@Sunday, we want you to bring your own snacks, let your children cry it out in private and to get your sh*t together.
You don’t want to give in, great, I’m actually happy to see those parents, but I have been in stores where parents just drag the child around and let them cry for an hour. How is that going to help them understand why you said no? You take your child out to the car, you speak to them calmly, asking them to tell you why they’re upset (even though you already know) once they’ve calmed down and then explain why it is you said no. What I mean by that is, treat them like the thinking human beings that they are. If they don’t understand that there is a reason for the no (which can only be told once they have calmed down), they won’t ever understand that you just aren’t being mean.
Humanity? Treating people like human beings you mean? That’s what I’ve been doing. Treating kids like some creature that can’t understand anything when they are old enough to talk? Not Humanity.
Do I think these people should be accosted in front of their kids? No. But I do think that there should be some way for the store to recoup its losses for people that take a bun or donut sold by weight and eat it. That’s why you don’t see a lot of bulk anymore… plus it does end up raising prices, that is what pays for any kind of theft, be it big or little. That, is a fact.
wow…reaffirms why i do not read posts by this author..once again.don’t sweat the small things…society had way worse things than someone giving their child a snack.clearly you have a problem with anyone who has kids by your original post and the comment above..sometimes kids scream..i have a hyperactive 4 year old,i can calmly tell him to behave but sometimes he just won’t..guess that makes me the scum of the earth…yawn
and if you are seriously giving parents dirty looks you are the one that needs to grow up.
WHAT A HEATED RESPONSE!!!
I do this sometimes too. Sometimes you’re really thirsty or really hungry. What’s the big deal.
You do this in restaurants ALL THE TIME. It’s not the exact same, but it’s not totally different either.
I can totally understand why a parent would want to open up a bag of cookies to feed a screaming child. It is hard to see your children cry/scream and you do not want to be embarrassed by a negative behaviour in public. As a cashier at two stores, I see it all of the time. Unfortunately, it is not just the children who eat before paying. One of the stores that I work at is a large farm market with a salad bar. People of all ages, walk through the store and eat cherries that are in season and leave the pits on the floor or on a counter amongst other items, pick a few grapes off the stem and pop them in, or feed themselves forkfuls of salad using their own fork of course) as they are getting themselves a container of salad. Items that are weighed can not be accurately scanned, when eaten. Does the store have to start weighing people as they come in and go out? As store personnel, we are told by management that when people eat before paying, it is stealing and the supervisors remind them the item should be paid for before eating. If someone grabs a bun and eats it before they hit the check out counter, usually people will say so, but not always. Maybe it is due to forgetfulness, but again not always. If you would like to taste an item such as grapes, etc, ask the clerk. In our store, most likely we will give you one to try, but not a whole handful. People do not understand that taking a handful of grapes or a few mouthfuls of salad, etc increases a amount that you pay at the cash register. Check out a W5 or Marketplace documentary about shoplifting. They stated that $400 plus are added to each consumer bill every year to cover shoplifting. I would hope and pray that adults would be giving a good example to the children in the store about not eating before paying. One news tidbit I heard lately was that teen shoplifting was on the rise. Why is that? Do they think that the store will cover the cost of that one item? It can afford it since it is a big box store, right? Not! As a child, I too was told to wait until I got home and my mother never opened a box of cookies for us to eat in the store. We had to wait. My siblings and I knew what kind of behaviour was expected and we followed suit or we would be left in the car with dad next time. Here is an idea, I saw on the nanny and have seen in the store. When you take your child shopping, give them a job. Hand them a shopping list and have them spot those items to go in the cart or give older ones calculators to find out how much the groceries will cost. Keeping them busy helps to pass the time in the store. Check out the free samples and ask the clerks if you can sample the items. Show and teach your children how to act in public. Let’s make the future generation of Canada the best that they can be.
“Security to aisle five please. There is a mother opening a box of cookies which she did not intend to buy but will be purchasing now because her kid wants to eat it now”. The more I think about this, the more hilarious it is. No manager stops mums from opening a pack of junk food for the kid. Snacks are put at eye level and candy bars placed strategically before the checkout stands to lure kids into making parents spend more money!!! The majority of parents WILL end up paying for the item. Same for bulk bins- do you really think the mum wants to buy a bag of gummy bears to take home? This is mostly impulse buying that store managers like to see kids make mommy do.
Yes parents should have more control over kids. In a perfect world you would be able to spank your child and tell him to get over it or sit in a corner by the frozen meat. The reality is you would stare at a wailing kid and ask why his/her parents aren’t doing anything to shut the kid up. Some families cannot afford a babysitter when they go shopping. Others do not have time to plan a shopping trip when they want to go pick up diapers that they have run out of after daycare. Who are we to judge them? It takes a whole village to raise a child but usually everyone in the village is not pointing fingers but actually helping. If you feel responsible to ensure the future generation is not spoilt, please ask the next mum you see shopping with a toddler if she would like you to tag alongside her and play with her kid while she tries to get healthy food for her family
I do not take food from the bulk barn and I used to judge everyone like you did- until I became a mum with no family close-by and who could not afford babysitters.
And yeah, I have a lot of opinions about this kind of stuff, for many reasons, one of which being I have had and been to birthday and pool parties where the kids of people who practise this kind of thing in store also think they can go into cupboards and freeload.
Climb up a chair (the bottom cupboards are child proofed), walk across my counter in your bare feet, grab a box of cookies and sit on my couch eating while the other kids are outside? Outside with the food and cookies and cake no less? And then have the parent tell me he does that all of the time at the store, and doesn’t seem to know the difference and then laugh? It’s not precocious, is appalling! I don’t care if he really likes Peak Freans!
And to say you know, FOR SURE, you’re kid doesn’t steal? You know they can be expert liars right? Especially if no one lets you know they’ve done it. Some parents just don’t want to upset you. Don’t be so sure it doesn’t affect your kid, the jury stays out until they’re past 20.
While I dont agree with people taking food without paying for it, if indeed that was the case., I am more concerned that there are people like you out there who get ‘enraged’ I fear for the safety of others. Perhaps you might benefit from some anger management courses. Its not wise to stick your enraged nose into other people’s business you might get it bonked.
Why are people defending this sort of behavior assume the ones against it don’t have children or are parents “pretending to be perfect”? Why are people bringing up the fact that there are worst problems in society besides this? Yeah there’s wars, violence, and crime. None which are applicable to this thread…
I work from 8-4 but I worked there for so long that during half of the week the manager lets me go early to pick up my siblings. One is 7, one is 9, and the other is 15. The 15th year old goes to another school. It’s a mad rush picking everyone up, and then picking up groceries, and then going to pick up my mother. So I DON’T have time to plan out bringing snacks for my siblings beforehand. I don’t go complaining about how my life is too stressful for me to plan ahead. The point isn’t even about if you remember to bring snacks for them to tag along or what…
It’s a matter of teaching children the norm. They just finished school – you think they’re not hungry? They’re probably starving. HOWEVER, they learned that it’s only a matter of another 30minutes until they can get their cookies. Please give them a little more credit; they might be children but if told properly, they will learn to hold their urges and learn what restraint is. Instant gratification just leads to spoiled children. If a kid throws a tantrum because the parent refuses to let them have an item, well – colloquially speaking, they need a good slap on the face (not literally of course). I’m their sister, but as someone who takes care of them, you need to learn to not be too hard on them, but not too soft either. Young man if you can’t behave, you ain’t getting NOTHING after the checkout. I didn’t sign up to be a babysitter to 3 children AND a chauffer just to deal with this crap. Got to be firm.
You can give into their behaviour all you want and call it “well wait til you have kids” but at the end of the day, it doesn’t make it right. You might end up paying for it, but before you paid for it, the item was never yours. Now what did we all learn about handling items that don’t belong to us?
Don’t hate me but I eat a grape to make sure they are not sour before I buy them. If they are sour I don’t buy. I don’t say add a grape when I get to the till.
What the hell? I can’t believe all these responses. Who cares if you or your kid eats something while shopping as long as you pay for it??
And teaching “delayed gratification”? Really?!? I guess I haven’t learned discipline because I sometimes get a bottled water or open a box of crackers while shopping.
A few times on my break/Before going to work I make a pit stop at Zellers and I’ve popped open a bag of crisps or a bottle of juice at the till, only when it is taking forever for the person ahead of me. I say “sorry about this, I’m really hungry/Thirsty” And the cashier says it’s fine. This sort of thing is not highly unusual on planet earth.
I cant believe people think it’s stealing or an issue of etiquette when you let your kid eat something at a grocery store then pay for it later. Dont even get me started with “let them eat first before leaving the house” You probably dont have kids. If I want to open a box of cookies and pay for it later that’s my business. The store dont even complain so why should you. I hope next time you see a parent do that it would be me. Maybe your bf stopped you because he knew you always stuck your nose in other people’s business. I would find that annoying too if I were him. What if that parent say to you that she it was actually theirs and just opened it at the store. I would love to see your face turn red. Your tomato face will be too hard to weigh so I dont know how your bf will pay for it.
I shop in stores probably sometimes when you are there……..i dare you to give me dirty looks or say anything to my children……chicky…..if you don’t like the world stay home and order your grocery online that way we mothers and fathers won’t have to rip you a NEW ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My 16 month old son enjoys choosing a roll/bun from the bakery. I ALWAYS pick up an extra one so the cashier can charge us. [picking up an extra also helps her identify they type of roll/bun]. I think if this makes my child happy it is way cheaper than buying toys and makes him feel as though he is helping Mummy on our shopping trip together. If anything the other shoppers think it is cute how excited he gets when we reach the bakery section. Oh, I don’t think I am teaching him to steal. I always explain to him that we have to leave some for the cashier to charge us.
seriously IT IS NOBODYS F____ING BUISINESS WHETHER THE FOOD IS PAID FOR OR NOT EXEPT FOR THE STORE ITSELF!!!! Its not like it is coming out of your freaking paycheques people!! Grow up!!!! And for the loser Mike #10 YES I HAVE KIDS!!! all 12 of them.
I was going to add to my comment from yesterday, but poster ‘Sunday’ summed up my exact thoughts. You go worry about a child eating a yet-to-be-paid-for cookie ruining humanity, and I’ll go worry about arrogant, self-righteous, and judgemental people.
This blog entry has definitely changed my attitude toward this site, and I doubt I will ever be back.
when we take our son grocery shopping at sobeys we stop at the bakery department and get our son one of the free cookies. one time we went my son started choking on his cookie. i sat him forward and patted his back. that helped a bit but he was still coughing and gagging so i opened a bottle of water for him to sip at. i dont care if you like it or not my son was choking and needed it. (dont give me any bs that we should have had a sippy cup for him. we did and he finished it on the walk to the mall)
usually if i need a drink i will send dh to go buy me one as soon as we get to the store before we start shopping. there have been times in a long line that i would open up a drink in the line if we are paying cash. i would wait if we were paying debit (unless someone was choking and needed a drink right away)
I saw a lady once walking around the grocery store (I was a cashier at the time) eating cherries (which, to begin with are not a cheap fruit, and are paid for by weight), and then if that wasn’t bad enough, she was discarding the pits/stems on the ground. All of us workers got a little irked at that. Anything done by weight can not be eaten before purchased.
That being said, I, myself will open a drink before I get to the check out if I’m really thirsty, and have never minded when people do it when I was ringing through their stuff.
Don’t be so quick to judge others! I have given my 7 month old rice cookies from the package to munch on….I pay for them when I get to the cash. I’ve been thirsty before while shopping and have opened a drink – and paid for it when I got to the cash. I’m with ‘Wow-sa’ on this one…I don’t think this is the site for this post.
my daughter eats unpurchased food in the grogery store sometimes, but it’s never anything that would be charged by weight like fresh fruit or bulk foods. I would give her something that we would be charged the same amount for regardless of some being eaten of not – like a slice of deli meat that has already been weighed, or an item from a package with a upc. I am never sneaky about it and always let the cashier know if a package has been opened. Usually i pack my own snacks for her at the store – just in case, but I think that it’s pretty harmless to let her nibble on something that I’m paying for anyways. In restaurants you eat first and then pay. I pump my gas and then pay for it. My hairdresser cuts my hair before I pay her. The point here is that as long as you do in fact pay for it, then there is no harm done.
It amazes me how parents use the fact that they have children as an excuse to do the wrong thing. Try using the word “No” and actually sticking to it. Being given a slice of deli meat from the butcher or a cookie from the baker is a different story. Opening packages, trying fruit or consuming something from the bulk section is completely stealing. Teach your children patience and manners instead.
In agreement with another poster, what if the machines happened to be down and you only had debit/credit/gift cards?
“I definitely give parents dirty looks if they let their kids scream in public areas and do absolutely nothing. It’s not only inconsiderate, but an assault to everyone within earshot.”
WOW!!!! You’ve got some nerve hunnie. So first we shouldn’t give our children snacks to shut them up because they’re most likely screaming – but if we leave them to scream we’re going to get dirty looks regardless? I think you should stop posting your opinions now because you are starting to sound really stupid.
I’m glad that you are leaning towards not having children, because you are so God damn judgemental I would feel HORRIBLE for your children.
Sometimes you gotta let your kids just scream, you can’t give in to absolutely everything… whether it be in your home or out in public. Grow up.
I cant believe how many hateful and judgmental posts make it onto this site, i thought this was a family friendly site on couponing? Not some vent all rage post blog for some small minded, racist, aggressive and extremely judgmental busybody? This type of thing is offensive to other people, and yes the original poster only wanted to fuel discussion and cause an argument, but really, this combined with the racist posts of the past few months are actually disgusting. Why not post FACTS and not a biased opinion? Start your own blog if you want to fame at people, I am actually shocked that this site promotes such a way of thinking, as by having this on the main page is basically this site saying we condone this type of behavior. Truly disappointing.
I didn’t know right wing americans were posting on this forum? My god I am ashamed of how judgemental and self rightous some of the responses are. I use to complain about “breeders” and their out of control offsprings. Since becoming a “breeder” myself I now understand that every decision is about time and place. Patience can be taught in two folds: delayed gratification and empathy. Good for you for only learning half of the moral lesson!
Over 280 comments? Give these parents a break!
I am a stay at home mom of three…..Usually the money in my wallet is intended for the grocery store purchases, so if we have to drive far enough that the kids get hungry between meals I have no choice but to open a fruit bar (keep the wrapper) or give them an apple….at checkout I bring however many apples, have the cashier weigh them and then give them back….so yes even fruit gets paid for!!! I dare a person to confront me with three hungry kids and tell me not to give my kids a snack! As long as it gets paid for…who cares?
I think the least of anyones worries should be a parent giving their kids a snack. What if it was a struggling family and they just managed to get enough money together to buy a few things and one of those few things was cookies for the kids…..the first treat the have had in months….does that still make it wrong? I am one of those families….so take it easy, keep your cool and MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!!!!!
Every time I go grocery shopping I grab a hot baguette bread and eat it during my shopping trip. I’ve been doing so since my kids are very little. I, in no way, thought my kids to steal, they actually know that will freak the heck out if they ever stole something. We eat the bread and hand out the empty bag to the teller at the end.
I think it’s quick judging to right away think that the woman had the intention to not pay/ steal the items she was giving her kids. Maybe she just got back from somewhere did not have time to bag a snack or just plainly does like I do. IMO
Do not judge a person until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes…
To everyone saying this is not a post suitable for this site —> AGREE!
And to everyone saying that’s concerning if something like this gets you enraged —> AGREE! (Channel that enrage-ment to a worthy cause)
And to everyone who’s pointed out that a child eating a cookie is NOT the reason for food price inflation —> THANK YOU!
It doesn’t take a rocket science to put two and two together. Whenever a blog post stirs up this much controversy, it’s usually this original poster who began it.
Controversy + Comments = Page views + Ad revenue
So by all means, the hostility is probably welcome in these comments. As much as it’s discouraged on the forums, it seems to be fair game in the blog post comments section. Sad really….
It is very difficult to grocery shop with a 2-4 year old child. Have you ever heard of the saying it’s like bringing a kid to a candy store. They see things and they want to try it. I myself try to avoid bringing my child to the grocery store because of the lack of understanding at during this period. I’ve given in and let them have what they want and dealth with the screaming at the cash because they didn’t get what they want. It’s funny how this site is normally deleting blogs on negativity but somehow this gets posted I’m a little upset about this.
I would LOVE for the poster of this dribble to confront me in a grocery store. If you argue as poorly as you write, I’ll have you scrambling for a bulk bin biscuit inside of 3 minutes. All your posts are written with such limited view and little research. I really hope you don’t classify yourself as a writer. You’re putting the profession to shame.
What you need to do next time is MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!!!
This is an effective way to get through a boring shopping trip with a happy child that is not running all over the place, being obnoxious, or just getting in everyone’s way. I have always taught my daughter to take the appropriate bag and it is to be paid for. Stealing no-watching what goes in her mouth yes. I would love to have that discussion with you in the store.
Stephania – you still rock! Your sense of humour at yourself and the world is to be commended. Don’t ever stop. Any of us posters who can HONESTLY say they’ve NEVER had a “moment” in a grocery store when it came to eating/children/behaviour would either be lying or have short memories. Rant on 🙂 Interesting how many people felt you were talking specifically about them 🙂
It’s not so much people give dirty looks (well I wouldn’t, because I don’t even know you), it’s more of a, they think all this in their heads. So I don’t agree with OP for almost trying to stop them (if not for the boyfriend). Also don’t agree with eating the stuff in stores either. Not talking about the misc. reasons that people keep coming up with such as choking (unless your child chokes everytime he’s in the supermarket then, by all means).
More of like, is this always the norm for you? It’s not that the retail stores can really do much to stop these people, whether their policy is to allow them, or tell them not to do it (my uncle worked at Sobeys and he tells me that they discourage it, but if people do it, nothing they can do. What, kick them out? Lose customers? Puh-lease.) Most people are brought up not being able to do this, so they are shocked, as much as you are shocked from reading how so many people think this is acceptable. If there’s -no other- way (no?) to satisfied your kid’s hungry-at-the-moment/shut them up and this is the only way to do it then… all the more power to you. I would never approach a fellow shopper and tell them off though. Already busy with mine.
Personally, I have seen adults eating in grocery stores and never once have I considered going up to that person and passing judgement on them by calling them a thief. On the other hand, people seem to think it is acceptable to insult/give advice to parents at any time and about anything. If we are talking etiquette here, I consider this behaviour to be very rude.
None of us is perfect, parent or not and I find it very disheartening that as people we need to tear other people down in order to feel superior. I am a parent and I make mistakes. And I hope that in making mistakes, my son understand mistakes are a part of life and that we can learn from them. If our noses are rubbed in all our mistakes then children have a fear of failure and will develop learned helplessness.
I repeat again, none of us is perfect. Not as parents, spouses, employees, employers, etc. It is not our right to pass judgement and I think no one would say that they like to be judged. I try to live my life by the Golden Rule: treat others as you wish to be treated. And that is my hope for humanity
Yeah cool it lady, you’re like the gestapo, live a little like your BF
I’ve just re-read the original post for the umpteenth time. I still don’t get what people are upset about. I am a parent. I have had moments. I have chastised STORE CLERKS for telling my child it was okay when she took something from a bulk bin (no, no it’s not okay). I have wanted to smack parents upside the head. I have given parents the hairy eyeball (rather than make the comment I wanted). I have judged and been judged and gotten over it. I did let my child open the bag of pre-washed spinach and sit contentedly in the basket of the shopping cart munching away AND felt self-righteous about it (Silly emotions, eh?) without acutally THINKING about what I was really doing was giving my child mixed signals about what is and isn’t acceptable. The one and only time I had a screaming child, we left. Would have been MUCH easier for me to finish my groceries, pay for them, and go home with everything I needed but where’s the lesson in that? Making my life easier wasn’t the point. Teaching screaming child something was more important. Rant over. For now. 🙂
Also, I was just reading a quite judgemental comment from an educator. It really didn’t sit well with me for the following reasons. I think we all know that being an ECE or a qualified teacher is very different from being a parent. I was a teacher prior to having my son and I am now a stay at home mom. Parenting is infinitely harder, not to make light of teaching. Teaching is lots of work but there are no lunch breaks, recess, planning time or nights, summers and weekends off being at home. Teaching also takes place in a controlled environment much different than out in a grocery store. So controlling 15 or 37 kids (as I had in my class) is much simpler. And, let’s be honest when we take children out of the class we always have parent volunteers (ie. field trips. Further, children behave differently at school than at home.
This reply is so far downn that I’m sure no one will see it.. but I just wanted to say I agree with the original post.
Unless the store is giving free samples, it’s wrong. These bulk food area clearly have NO SAMPLES signs, so how can it be justified? Even if you are honest and plan to pay for it, it’s still “sampling” the product. Things kids learn/observe in their early years will stick with them their full life.
That all being said, I’m not a perfect being, and I never say anything myself to people doing this. But I secretly hope store staff catches them and says something.
Here is my story.
I went to Wal-Mart with my 2 1/2 year old. She was crying for a banana. The guys who packed the bananas on the shelf was doing the job at the time so I asked him kindly if he could give me one for the baby. He said, of course, it is my pleasure. I gave it to the baby and left the peel in my cart waiting to throw in the bin. I went to the cashier to pay for my items and the cashier insisted I pay for the already eaten banana. I told her what occurred.
She said to be, if everyone who comes in here takes a banana then what would happen!! I in turn asked here if she was the CEO of Wal-Mart or does her family name appears on any of their official documents. She went and got the supervisor. So as not to get the nice gentleman who gave me the banana in trouble i just paid the 25cents for the darn banana.
When I told the cashier that she was holding up the line the lady who was standing behind me in the line bellowed — I can wait!!! I wanted to smack her and tell.
People should just learn to mind their own business because they do not know the circumstances!!!
But Darq, the packer had no authority to give you the banana……thats the problem. You even saying you didnt want to get the packer in trouble means that YOU KNOW what he did was wrong…… employees at Walmart just cant give away stuff for free, kid or not.
I don’t have kids; it looks like a hard job and I don’t envy you parents in what you go must through raising your tykes. What I have noticed though, in this thread and in society in general, is that there seems to be a culture of entitlement/special-ness (if that’s even a word) that some parents espouse, where a basic concept like showing common courtesy doesn’t apply to them because they have kids. Some of the posts here are a great example of that – the idea being articulated over and over again that someone who doesn’t have children is not qualified to express an opinion on the actions of those who do. Sure, we don’t have kids but we WERE kids once, we’ve been parented. Our opinions come from a different place, but are no less valid. So, here’s my humble opinion on this topic which has generated so much discussion: the grocery store scenario seems like an opportunity for kids to learn about social rules, being consumers and having restraint. Why not take advantage of that opportunity instead of focusing on the short-term goal of getting the kids to shut up?
Teekay, while I agree that this is absolutely a teaching moment for the child and that many parents do use this opportunity as such. I don’t believe being parented is comparable to parenting. If I had a medical issue I wouldn’t go to someone who had been a patient, I would go to the doctor.
The reason parents get upset is that they are an easy target for others to attack. People seem to feel (parent or not) that they are entitled to give their opinion on people’s parenting style.
Unfortunately, the culture of entitlement exists in all segments of society not just with parents.
Really? People are getting up in arms about childern wanting to fill their tummy? Does anyone remember how good the bakery section of the grocery store smells? If the parents pay for it what is the big deal? If a child eating a roll is going to ease their hunger pangs then I say eat. As long as it’s paid for at the end who cares – hunger pains/ your upset child verses strangers opinions – guess which way the vote’s going to swing.
I vote we now address the gum chewers of the world, the profusely perfumed people, cell phone talkers (USE YOUR INDOOR VOICE), saving-space-in-line-swine (at theme parks), pointers, finger jabbers, toe tappers, knuckle crackers, passive-agressive-talk-just-loud-enough-to-know-you’re-comment-will-be-heard, nose pickers, public nail clippers/filers, and my personal favourite, those who think the 8-items-or-less sign only applies to other shoppers. Mum and dad tried SOOOO hard with the whole courtesy thing. I get it now and boy, do I miss you both! <3
Why do you say that Sally? The packer is not a robot. If I were in his shoes and the child asked for 1 finger of banana I would have certainly given it.
You see, the problem we have in this society is that we have all become so cold and our minds so corrupt!!!
@teekay
Great reply!
I won’t give you my entirely long boring story but basically I had gotten to the grocery store an hour and a half later then I intended (with my son) because of hold ups I wasn’t expecting. I knew it was now past lunch time and he wasn’t “acting” up but he was holding his stomach like kids do when they get hungry and then we passed the bakery. Who hasn’t passed the bakery before with that incredible smell? So I said okay, you can have a roll but we have to take the brown paper bag and write the code on it for the cashier. (Bulk bakery items here are by the item number not the weight) When we go to pay for it, he hands her the paper bag and she rings it in.
I don’t make that a habit, it was an exception. I don’t go in there every shopping with the intent to open packages, and eat straight from the bulk bin but it has happened at least once. My son doesn’t ask for a roll when we pass by the bakery, he also knows it was an exception.
One time last Christmas a lady was handing out Mars chocolate bars as samples. They were the smaller ones that are wrapped. My son ate it but was playing with the wrapper, and I didn’t think much of it until we got to the till and he showed the cashier. Even though it was a sample he had remembered we still have to pay for it.
I guess my point is, we don’t all shove food into their mouths to shut them up, we don’t do it all the time, and when we do do it we also explain to our kids that we still have to pay for it. And the kids remember that rule, that you still PAY for it. I’ve never given them anything from the bulk section or fruits that need to be weighed. To me that is stealing.
This is why I believe you shouldn’t have said anything. You don’t know the circumstances and it would have just been embarrassing for both of you at the end.
Many believe this is teaching the kids to steal, I just don’t see that. I think it’s teaching them the opposite well at least in my case. My son always, always knows you have to PAY for everything when you leave the store, even for things in your tummy.
To the ECE teacher. You should be ashamed. And I truly hope you don’t show that chip on your shoulder to the parents you deal with.
If it’s not a habit I do not see any harm in giving the child something to eat in the store. I’m paying for everything the child eats. Common sense dictates not to give the child anything unwashed( so no fruits)=> everything else can be paid for. Until my daughter was 2 years old, it was very easy to shop with her as she did not cry for anything in the store. Between 2-3 years, she became very curious and she wanted to try things out => so I gave in.
I do not think this is disrespect. I do not make any fuss, I do clean everything if she makes a mess, I do clean the package before paying for it… I also do not think that keeping a child hungry or wanting something to eat is teaching him any manners. The way she eats, paying attention not to make a mess, not to obviously show the food to other kids….these are manners in my opinion,not keeping the child wanting something which is good for him and I can afford it.
and about stealing…as long as I’m behind the cashier line and I’m paying for it is not stealing.
About picking a grape or a cherry…. the respectable stores have samples for seasonal fruits or for unusual ones, so, I prefer to go there to buy them as I think is better to pay $1 more instead of throwing out $5- $10 – $15 in tasteless fruits.
I would hardly call it stealing … unless they are not paying for it before they leave the store!
I think you are probably the same person who would be complaining about the children crying and making to much noise.
How about minding your own parenting and social behavior and keeping your rude judgements to yourself?
well said boo (post 248) I agree 🙂
@Sky, I think we’ll have to agree to disagree on this one. To stay with your analogy, I don’t believe that conceiving and having a child is comparable to the competitive selection process and eight years of training a doctor goes through in terms of being prepared and qualified for the job. It seems to me that, at least in the beginning, how a person was parented will have heavy influence on how they raise their own child.
Anyway, if nothing else, now I know about the free cookies in the bakery section of the grocery store. So, this debate has been both passionate and educational for me. 😉
While I understand that the OP was trying to stir up a discussion, which obviously worked, I for one am tired of her judgmental, non-researched, and poorly-written posts appearing on the front page of this site. If you want to present yourselves as a professional and credible website, this is not the way to do it.
All of you parents out there who are upset about being judged sound like whiny children yourselves. Far too long society has been turning a blind eye to “other people’s business” out of political correctness and in the process the fabric of society has deteriorated. There has been a significant decrease in respect (for other people and for rules and laws), morals, ethics and etiquette over the past number of decades. These things are taught at home by the parents. Learn to say no and lead by example! Don’t let your children rule the roost resulting in another generation of disrespectful, selfish and spoiled children being raised. There are lots of parents out there who have not resorted to letting their whiny kids snack before paying and they have turned out the better for it. Plain and simple, do the right thing – if you haven’t paid for it, it isn’t yours so don’t eat it.
hi again!:)
As an additional comment: I’m not offended by the topic. It’s actually interesting to know how the people around me think.
He without sin cast the first stone!!!!!!!!!
@Jenna (et. al.)
Can you provide statistics to back up your arguments? I’m just curious because for hundreds of years people have been claiming the exact same thing based on nostalgic views of days gone by.
I must admit that I too am tired of this one sided blogger on the front page of this site.
Blogging about things that annoy you and having a one sided article on your own blog is one thing, but this website is more of a community and what’s on the front page is supposed to represent the community as a whole which I thought was money saving. I don’t think it’s appropriate to be used as a rant outlet. I’m kinda scratching my head as to why this even on here and why the site owners would even want this?
I don’t think you should assume that these parents are stealing the baked goods. I regularly let my children eat the pre-packaged fruit salads while we’re shopping (and get the cashier to scan the empty container at check-out). At one point ds1 liked to eat bananas while shopping. Upon entering a store, I would purchase a bunch of bananas for him to eat and then I would let him eat his fill during our shop. Some enraged busybody might have assumed that I hadn’t paid for the fruit, but they’d be wrong wrong wrong and if they had dared to confront me….ooooo, that would not be pretty for the aforementioned busybody.
I never feed my kids baked goods while shopping, but it’s easy enough for someone to say “oh and charge me for the pizza bun that my son ate” upon check-out. It’s not like they’re weighed.
Oh and all these people whining about kids eating in grocery stores? Have you been in a grocery store lately? Seen the snack bars? Seems like the grocery stores want to encourage eating in their stores. I don’t quite understand why being hungry in considered so character-building.
@Elle…it’s all about the number of hits the website gets, in other words – it’s about MONEY.
LMAO……..wait til you have children the least of your worries will be what your BLABBING about…if this is how weak your mind is…DON’T HAVE CHILDREN…because you have to be strong …and must not have an attitude like you!!!!!!..we don’t need anymore people like you in the world….!!!…you should babysit mine they would have you locked in the basement in 5 seconds……..etc……..you need to pick your battles better…….try doing some good by volunteering somewhere……..you wouldn’t last long with that attitude they would tell you to get LOST!much more to say but your a waste of my time and everyones elses time as well.
next thing you know, they’re going to be debating ABORTION, POLITICS or some other topic that will get everyone worked up. this site is using a seriously cheap way to gain attention.
Well said, Sylvia (post 316) and Elle (post 321).
If I want to read rants like this, there are a thousand other websites I can go to.
This post has really left a bad taste in my mouth and it has changed the way I think about this website.
I have not read all of the posts but i feel strongly about this topic. I have 2 children under 6 and I have never let them eat or drink anything in a grocery store/convenience store before paying. Teaching your child to wait (have patience) to be respectful, responsible people is our (parents) job. It may seem small but as an educator this can become huge, respect must be taught and it starts when they are young. What is stopping these children from continuing to open packages and consume the product which may or may not be paid for, as teenagers (who are able to be out on their own with limited funds) who don’t think they need to pay if they didn’t like the product, this may continue as an adult – we have all seen empty packages in store (obviously not paid for). This affects all consumers, prices increase – I don’t want to pay more $ for my groceries. I always take snacks, if it isn’t possible to take snacks or you run out, go ahead and grab the crackers, but I would think that a quick run to the cashier to pay for one item wouldn’t hurt.
I’ve just returned from reading the blog of the individual who penned this turd of a post. I’m shocked this person is allowed to write for this website. They’re clearly uneducated, without life experience and drastically in need of a personality transplant. Clearly this website is not concerned about classiness, authenticity and intelligence.
you dont kno if they paid or not,they can tell the cashier what their children ate.
i did this when i was young, i just saved the wrapper and paid later. i dont see the difference.
@Elle and @Mandee
Agree with both of you. Cheap way to get page views and attention is hitting the nail on the head. The OP has admitted in prior similar rants that she relies on controversy to get comments.
I’ll repeat what I’ve said before: it is remarkable how different the standards of politeness and acceptable behaviour are on the blog posts, and on the main forum.
And I will make it clear that I AGREE with the overall message of the post. But maybe if it were expressed as more of a thorough argument than a childish rant, the comments would not be quite so hostile. There is a way to express yourself on a reputable site such as smartcanucks, and this rant is not it.
ryry-kerry, what you are essentially saying is that we, the parents, are thieves. You are saying that everyone here that has posted that they have occasionally let their kids snack are thieves and are raising thieves. Talk about judgmental, from a bragging educator no less. I hope you aren’t teaching my kids to be judgmental.
Did you ever stop and think that these parents are paying for the items at the till? I’m not talking about bulk items, I’m talking about items that need to be scanned or given a bin code for. I would think that an “educator” would be more open minded.
Don’t you think it also sends a clear message to the kids that when the parents go to the till that they are honest and say what they have opened or consumed? I think that sends a HUGE message in honesty. But hey what do I know? You’re the educator…
the tone of this post is pretty judgmental. OP seems to be suggesting that parents who do this are (as @Umm.. says) thieves/ raising thieves.
so tell me, what’s next? suggesting EUGENICS?
who do you deem fit to be a parent OP? since you feel so strongly about how other people raise their children.
Umm.. if you read my post it clearly says may or may not be paid for – I am not suggesting that anyone is raising theives what I am saying is that we need to teach respect – that is respecting everyone – this includes the store owner – thus not eating food that his store has purchased to sell to consumers prior to paying for them – I am not judging those who do this – i am suggesting that we need to look at what the message is that it sends to our children –
Wow, did not expect such a rude post from an SC blogger. How sad. You do not know the parents, maybe those kids hadn’t eaten in awhile. Do you know the situation?
Never judge a book by its cover or look down on others simply because they don’t “do what you think is right”.
I hope you grow up before you have kids. 🙂
The reason this post is on a ‘money saving site’ is because ‘theft’ of WEIGHTED ITEMS, as in fruit, nuts, bakery and bulk, ends up costing US money as consumers. They find the money to make up for the people snacking on grapes, cherries and BULK BIN cookies who CANNOT POSSIBLY accurately pay for what they ate because they are SOLD IN BULK or BY WEIGHT by raising prices. Therefore people doing it DO NOT SAVE US MONEY, they end up COSTING us money.
Just because you can personally justify the behaviour doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be debated. The only error the OP made was thinking of confronting the person, when that is clearly up to the store to do.
Also, just because a person writes a blog post doesn’t mean you have to read it. No one is sitting behind you with a gun to your head. It’s an opinion piece and this OP is their OPINION writer. They are trying to make the site less boring but I doubt that they are doing it to get ‘rich’. Not everyone aims to offend you, nor do they do it to personally gain from your offense. Ever heard of a healthy debate? They don’t usually start out of the blue whilst searching for coupons on diapers…
We’re not getting through to each other here people, it’s getting down to people trying to lynch mob the OP and those who agree with her.
We’re just trying to get the rest of you to think about what you’re doing, but honestly, some people on here are aware of the impact of it on their kids and others just refuse to acknowledge that it has one. No one will win the argument and it is just getting ugly.
I applaud those who at least pay for the snack before continuing shopping or open items that can be accurately scanned.
Those of you who eat grapes and weighted fruit and bulk, you are stealing, since the store can’t weigh your belly. You can justify it however you want, but it is true.
You can’t walk up and say I ate five almonds, three cherries and a handfull of grapes, charge me please. I suppose you can go back and walk up with those loose items and then leave them at the cash, but that’s wasting food since you just had them in your hands and who wants them now? Plus how can the store be sure that’s all you ate? How can you be sure you remember exactly how many of each? It’s just silly to think that’s okay.
I don’t care about the stuff in boxes or wrappers, that stuff is weighed before it’s packaged. I do care that I now pay sometimes $4.99 a pound for cherries because you’re selfish a** thought you had a right to scarf a pound simply because you dain the store with your existence.
I don’t even care if it’s kids or not, NOBODY should be doing that. It’s rude, it’s disrespectful, it’s selfish, and oh yeah, it costs me extra money!
But since people are so inclined to take posts like this as a personal affront to their parenting rather than a topic for valid debate, I highly doubt that anyone has really been listening to any of us anyway.
I completely agree with Stephania. All these parents are ghetto. Throw a granola bar in your purse and stop teaching your kids to steal. OR here is an idea – fork out $6 for a babysitter and go grocery shopping alone.
End of story.
I agree with the poster about respect for the shop owner. I have a family and i have small children. I also have a small grocer near china town in toronto. It is true that while everyone claims they will pay for the items they pay, many don’t. I would LOVE to trust in them but somehow that trust turns around to bite me in the ass. While big chain stores can usually absorb theft, my small family business simply can’t. And the ‘genuine’ theives of my shop are adults, adults WITH their children and sometimes to my DEEP DISMAY, just children alone. When i deal with stuff like that, i can’t help but to be pessimistic. I actually feel like i get no respect. I dont doubt that people can have real intentions of paying but thats beside the point. You just came into my property and opened something not yours. Yes, you are GOING to pay for it. No, while that item is being munched on, you don’t own it. Why am i so anxious? I have to feed my own family with this shop.
And that is the perspective from someone who runs a grocer. So all against this article, flame away. This is my opinion. I’m sure OP had her own opinions too, despite so many people attacking her.
To those who agree with the blogger, your arguments amount to this: parents should teach their children to follow the social norm.
I say, screw that.
There are 2 scenarios here
1) Child makes a noise, and parent caters to them like a slave. No discipline.
2) 99% of the time the parent says “wait for dinner”. But 1% of the time it’s 2 hours past the normal dinner time, and the child needs to eat something.
If you’re a good parent, and you do Scenario 2, you can teach your child much DEEPER lessons by breaking the norm. Teaching your child WHY this is an exception to the rule is the key here.
Some rules (and especially mild social norms) are made to be broken.
What really bothers me about the bloggers “rage” is that this situation really doesn’t hurt anybody else. It’s not just judgemental. It’s very distorted judgement. Giving your child a bagel is raising the prices??
Yes, it is stealing and people that do this are thieves.
Once the package is opened and you consume it then it is “no longer in the store”
Would you shove a product from the store anywhere else in your body and not call it stealing?
I don’t do this with my kids and I don’t know any parents that do, simply because we teach our kids that they have to PAY for things in life.
I am really disgusted by those parents who are saying things like “obviously YOU don’t have kids” “it keeps them quiet or busy while I can shop”
Well if you TEACH you kids that everytime you go shopping they get to eat stuff, then ya, guess what? They will be whiny and brats until they get what they want!
Great parenting people.
@ TH
“What really bothers me about the bloggers “rage” is that this situation really doesn’t hurt anybody else. It’s not just judgemental. It’s very distorted judgement. Giving your child a bagel is raising the prices??”
First of all… the majority of the people here that are against this aren’t “raging” get your facts right. While they do frown upon it, most stated they would never actually approach a stranger and confront them – that’s not anybody’s place to do something like that! What they think inside their heads is another business – if they want to judge someone in their heads then so be it. We all judge people on some levels.. INSIDE our minds, and that’s acceptable.
And if you read other posts… it’s not that it doesn’t hurt anybody else. It does hurt the grocer (read the post about you especially). It’s good if people pay for it (like they should). Some people just don’t. It might start innocently as opening a chocolate bar, but sadly some people lose the intention to pay for it afterwards. I’m not saying everyone does that. I’m saying it happens ENOUGH for people to notice it and point it out. That hurts the grocer. And of course one bagel doesn’t hurt anyone. People were talking about how if this becomes a TREND and say only 90% of the people paid for what they eat (and again from people who work at supermarkets, it’s only about 60%?? don’t know where these numbers come from but i assume they know more than general public), then yeah, it CAN contribute to prices rising.
@Solid
Completely agree with you.
@Kayuga,
While the majority of the people who are commenting may not be “raging”, the OP certainly was as quoted in her first few sentences (ie. something really “enraged” me)
And the point is, yeah, we all judge others in our heads. It is human nature to judge, and to consider the actions of others wrong at times, but the OP specifically mentioned that she would have approached
the parent(s) and given them a piece of her mind had her bf not “held her back”. That’s where this post goes from an innocent discussion to a raving rant of someone who appears to have anger management problems.
I don’t necessarily mind this author’s post and in some cases find it valid. Except for the confrontation. But people… keep it mind she never actually CONFRONTED her, yeah yeah I know the BF had to stop her, but hey, if she actually was serious about confronting, doubt anything would have stopped her. Wanting to do something is different than actually doing something. (Ever felt like punching something/someone? Did you do it? hmm.)
And of course… I don’t think I agree with the “How dare you teach your kids to steal!” comment. It seems like some parents/kids (or just adults in general) DON’T PAY for what they eat. THAT’s stealing. Most people will pay for it (I hope). So while I don’t agree with that quote, I do think this kind of behaviour should at least happen ON OCCASION. It’ll help kids learn that, “yes, it’s fun shopping with mommy and she gives me food (that she’ll be paying) sometimes.” Delayed gratification is important too. The kids should occasionally learn to WAIT because you’re teaching them to virtue of waiting–>reward. Plus when it comes down to it, it doesn’t have much to do with KIDS or not. Just general respect for the store owner.
It’s Stephania’s opinion, so whatever. Everyone has theirs, valid or not. I’d be pissed if someone came and told me they don’t like my opinions. Go take a hike then; they’re opinions. She’s not presenting them as facts. She’s stating her observation and what she thought of it. I think of it more as a debate, but the problem is a lot of parents are seeing it as a personal attack on their parenting.
To those that are saying they won’t come back to this post… well good bye then.
Do any of you really believe the person who wrote this piece of crap would have actually confronted the parents? Because I don’t. And considering her limited vision of the world (hard to see when one’s head is up one’s butt) I’d even bet the story isn’t hers.
For everyone who is standing firm on the side of not opening packages and grazing in a store (with the full intent of paying for it at the till)…good for you. You’re exercising your right to parent your way. But considering the way you’ve been condemning others, you had better be without fault when it comes to your parenting in every other area.
HistoryBuffette – excellent response.
AndYet – the OP has anger management issues? JUST the OP? ROTFLMAO! Scroll up 🙂
This is one thread where the usual sense of humour has completely disappeared. The majroity of the vitriol being posted here has been made up of content that has absolutely nothing to do with the OP. And, again, it’s really interesting how many people seem to think THEY personally are being targeted. And THAT attitude is one (okay, one of many many things) that we need to work hard to not pass on to our children. My head hurts but it’s been fascinating reading all these threads.
Do you have kids? I always have snack in my diaper bag, but small kids would want to see/touch/eat something NEW!!!! Now, if you happen to have a toddler 20 months old for example, try to explain “it is not yours/ours, we have to pay for it first.” Mostly impossible, they wouldn’t understand it at that age. Would you want to shop while your child is screaming just so you can pay for it first? I don’t think so!!! I don’t normally do this, happened to me only once, but I could feel for other moms or parents. In regards to stealing… in case the mom didn’t have the money to pay for it, do you think a less than a $1 item would really matter? At Costco once I wanted to grab a grill chicken after I did my shopping so it would be still worm when I get home. They threw away 20 chickens at least in front of my eyes because they were expired!!!! If I put the chicken in the buggy 2 minutes earlier it would’ve been fine???? Bagels, croissants go in the garbage at the end of the day too. There are many people who can not afford bagels or grill chickens….. I could write here thousands of examples. Just mind your business and don’t worry about small kids “eating free” aka grabbing a bite in a grocery store!!! I don’t like volunteer public educators, and I am sure I’m not the only one!
@Kaguya
Since I did not type the apostrophe, you assumed that I meant bloggers’ instead of blogger’s. Poor assumptions also lead you to believe that this actually a problem
To conclude that eating in the store is actually increasing prices, you have to factor in:
1) Number of people who are eating X % of people who are not paying X average $ amount of food they consume COMPARED to every item paid for.
2) Increase in sales due to people submitting to impulse buying –> e.g. “I’m so hungry, i would never have bought this bagel, but since I can bite into it now, I’ll eat it.” Or “my kids want this, I would never buy it, but I guess I’ll shut them up.”
I assure you, for the vast majority of grocery businesses, this is not a problem.
Obviously some people steal. This is very similar to dine + dash. If the store has a problem with theft, they should make it a policy that customers cannot consume in the store. It’s up to the business to put the proper controls in place.
Stating that EVERYONE eating before paying is doing something WRONG is just a distorted view.
I cannot believe this is still going on. So many comments, so many excuses.
It’s stealing, plain and simple!
I have two kids. I know how it is. I believe behaviour is learned at a very early age. When they are infants there’s no need to worry about whining, complaining and temper tandrum. Then they are toddlers and they become more vocal and restless. I think often parents are too easy to give in just to avoid being embarassed or just too tired to deal with it. As for those who are not parents, you need to show a bit more empathy, and instead of rolling your eyes, maybe offer to help. If a child is given food without paying for the first time, then it will be expected everytime afterwards. My moto is if you do not want your child to do something then it should be taught at the very beginning, the very first time. Eg. Don’t let your child do something when they are younger only to tell them ‘no’ when he/she get older. I’ve always prepared by packing a snack and pulls it out when my toddlers start to get restless. When they got older, i had them help with the shopping. Only the parents know their own child’s temperament. So it’s every parents’ responsibilities to be prepared and not go to the store when their child will be hungry or tired. Health issues should not be an excuse, but should be more of a reason to be more prepared.
As for the banana incident, as mentioned previously, no employees have the authority to give away anything to anyone. Anyone remember the Tim Horton’s incident?!?!
I think if you see anyone eating without paying, you should mind your own business, because you do not know their situation or intention. I see lots of open packages at stores all the time. Unless you see someone taking something and leaving the packaging, or something as obvious as taking food from the bulk section, then you know their full intention. (Even a store cannot stop someone until they pass the check out with the stolen goods.) Then i would approach an employee letting the store know instead of approaching the person myself.
Sorry but it is stealing. Ask any store owner or manager what they think of it.
Nice to know there are parents out there that are raising a pack of thieves.
This is very interesting to read about all the different views on this topic. For example, how some parents feel that it is alright to “eat first, then pay later” Other parents saying that it wrong “it is not teaching the children right from wrong. I.e. stealing from the retailer. Not having children, I have no idea what I would do in the situation.
The random helpings of soft fruits explains why grocery stores tend to carry grapes and cherries in the premeasured plastic clamshells now or instead of allowing bulk bins of nuts and baking items for customers to measure just what is needed, premeasured bags of 2 cups of nuts or dried fruits is more the norm now (Food Basics comes to mind).
Still, the act of eating fruit before paying or not–someone’s losing money. When the money affected is lost by your store or business, you will be keen to curb that loss ASAP by changing policy, packaging or terms (i.e. prepaid). I’m glad that a small store owner had posted his perspective at what the “shopping without paying” customers are doing to his ability to provide for his family.
There are legal and public health issues at hand here with eating in the store and not paying: accidental slippage (by other customers or staff-occupational health hazard)on pits or spilled items left by customers (of whatever age), unnecessary loss of saleable goods (which could mean the store does not make money on some goods/have difficulty paying suppliers and may cut back on them or drop them entirely), and additional germ spread on carts by sticky hands. Basically, the many have to endure the actions of a few acting badly in the grocery store.
To the matter of the “eat now and pay later” in the grocery store–ask about the store policy first before opening those food items for yourself or little ones.
@Ciel,
Do you have any facts to back up your claim that grocery stores now tend to carry soft fruits in unopen packages, and baking items/nuts in premeasured bags rather than out in the open? Furthermore, can you really claim that the change is because of the random grape or nut popped in a customer’s mouth to check for staleness/sweetness?
I ask, because if anything I’ve seen a trend towards bulk displays nowadays. RCSS has a large bulk section, as does Fortinos (just renovated to EXPAND the bulk choices). Wal-Mart offers nuts in bulk, and so does Freshco (again, a recent store). Food Basics offers pre-measured items yes, but it never has offered a bulk section, so it’s not like they went from bulk to pre-measured.
I’d assume that Bulk Barn would cease to exist if snacking/sampling were such a problem (yes, I am aware of their signs asking customers not to sample).
Lol, some of these comments are just cracking me up. Some make no sense at all haha.
The packs of thieves are going to be rushing to your door OMGit’sstealing. Now is the time to invest in a decent home security..
“I vote we now address the gum chewers of the world, the profusely perfumed people, cell phone talkers (USE YOUR INDOOR VOICE), saving-space-in-line-swine (at theme parks), pointers, finger jabbers, toe tappers, knuckle crackers, passive-agressive-talk-just-loud-enough-to-know-you’re-comment-will-be-heard, nose pickers, public nail clippers/filers, and my personal favourite, those who think the 8-items-or-less sign only applies to other shoppers.”
^Wow this makes a great poetry slam!^
Children who are hungry/thirsty are experiencing great discomfort. I could not bear putting a child through that when I can control the situation with food I am planning on purchasing. Simple as that. People scrutinize those who let their children run wild and scream. That is not responsible either. People like to pass the buck to others. I work in retail and see that some parents treat the store like a daycare. Oh to the lady saying she doesn’t shut her kids up for the sake of others: Look at Casey Anthony. She didn’t like hearing her own baby crying. So she tapped her mouth shut and killed that innocent sweet angel, and now she is being released soon. I just hope you don’t run into her cause imagine what she would do to your kids. Theres a lot of crap in the world these days, and it doesn’t take much these days to tick people off. People have to be more responsible and safe.
Though some wise advice comes to mind: Don’t go into a grocery store hungry.
@Ummmmmmmm,
Perhaps it has to do with where you live? Because I don’t know where in Canada you are but I’m in Kingston, Ontario and in the Bulk Barn in Kingston employees kick people out for ‘snacking’ and there are signs on EVERY bin about not doing it (hence the harshness if you do), so if it’s okay at yours I am really wondering how it IS in business still? Plus yuck, random people’s fingers fondling food while they put their fingers to their mouths? *Shiver*
The same goes for the grocery stores you listed, we don’t have a RCSS, but all others that you listed in MY CITY have shone so far away from Bulk you basically have to go to BB to measure your own anything other than the odd random seasonal fruit or corn.
WALMART lets you measure nuts where you are from? REALLY? You have one REALLY trusting Walmart my friend.
From the sounds of it, you are a pretty hard core snacker everywhere you go (you know where things are loose all around you), so I’m glad we’re not in the same place since I bet your area’s prices are pretty gnarly (not saying it’s just because of you).
I don’t care how much people try to deny it, ask any store how it recoups its losses and they will tell you they raise prices and cut into employees benefits/profit sharing (which sounds like employees get a good cut but try maybe $100 a year). I work retail and I get to look at the big board of losses every day at lunch, under the numbers the board says “Help Prevent Losses and Keep Prices Low; Report Theft to Management”. Go ahead, I dare you, (I don’t know if they’ll tell some random person) call a store and ask them what they do with their annual losses. Tell them you don’t believe what retail people are telling you about it raising prices, maybe they’ll think you’re less crazy/suspicious if you have a reason.
As for FACTS, Cecil was simply saying that they (as have I BTW), have personally NOTICED a decline in open and bulk items in stores around them. You don’t need statistics for things to be true. We’re not all going to court about it tomorrow. Geez. People are just on here saying what goes on where they live, which is thankfully not all in the same place.
I have a 20 month old that has a “REALLY” long reach…I don’t know how many times I’ve put him in the middle of the isle, grabbed some oranges, turned around and he’s eating a piece of fruit.
I’m embarrassed and what I do (if I’m alone) is stick an extra piece of fruit and pay for it at the cashier. If I’m not alone, I get someone to watch him, grab a couple other fruit I know he enjoys, plus another one about the same size as the fruit he’s grabbed and go pay for them. Then I can feel free to shop and he’s enjoying his fruit.
And I do not KNOW how many grocery store managers look at me like I’m nuts cuz I pay for what he eats – 1/2 of them just say “Don’t worry about it – We’ll just expense it” Some have even taken an idea through to their managers … which is why you now see samples of fruit on display so kids can eat something “HEALTHY” 🙂