You know your gym sucks when…

Recently, I just finished taking advantage of 30-days free at a local gym. I received a coupon and found out that another friend of mine, who lived nearby, had the same coupon, so we signed up at the same time to be Workout Buddies. Surprisingly, there was no catch…’cept that the gym wasn’t a good one!

So here are some things to consider if&when you are planning to select a gym in the future. You know your gym sucks when
– The staff, especially at the reception desk, isn’t friendly. Remember, just because you’re using a free pass, you are still a potential client!

– 2 out of the 8 sinks in the washroom work. This doesn’t change during subsequent visits.

– Similar to the sinks, a washroom stall that doesn’t have toilet paper, still doesn’t have t.p. upon your next visit. Even though you’ve pointed it out to the Eastern European Cleaning Lady.

– Not all showers work.

– There are multiple signs like, “Please do not shave/exfoliate in the steam room”, “Please do not leave bandages around”, etc. What kinda clients do they have anyway?

– Not only is the equipment old, but they aren’t maintained, are “Out Of Order” – sometimes with a sign, other times without, you cannot adjust the seat ’cause it’s broken, the thingy to adjust the weight on a machine is missing, etc.

– The lights in the steam room are burnt out. (And it’s completely pitch black in there, I’m talking bathhouse-dark!) There are no switches to adjust the amount of steam, it just comes out of a pipe that juts out of the wall. Furthermore, the steam room smells extremely mouldy; instantly transforming it from a health benefit to a health hazard!

– You see the Cleaning Lady eating KFC in the lounge area. I realise that her job is to clean, but doesn’t that send the wrong message to its members?

– You appear to be fitter than the Personal Trainers.

– You feel like you’re in Bikram Yoga…while you’re on the cardio machines, i.e. there is no circulation in the room!

– Warm water comes out of the water fountain. Mmm…

– Same Cleaning Lady smokes in the alleyway adjacent to your Zumba class and the smoke wafts right in. *cough, cough*

I think that *most* restaurants who offer a Groupon-type deal, especially if the establishment isn’t a new one is because the restaurant is probably bad. So if a gym is offering a deal, the same theory applies, no?

57 responses to “You know your gym sucks when…”

  1. giffy85 says:

    I actually have to disagree with you on the “bad” restaurants only offering Groupons. The first one I ever bought was for a sushi restaurant with a maitre d’ and great food. I have also seen many others that are considered good or excellent in my city and not new establishments.

    Also I find it unnecessary to mention things like the culture, ethnicity or race of people such as the cleaning lady. Such information is not pertinent to the story and can came off as offensive.

  2. Funkymunky says:

    *cue in anger about Easter European lady comment and Gay-Bathhouse comment* lol 🙂

    I hear ya about the gyms – even the franchises have pretty bad maintanance of their machines and upkeeping of them gym in general – it seems all they want is your money and nothing else in return..

  3. Violet says:

    a little offended at the “eastern european” cleaning lady description. It would have clearly been racist if she was black you had put “black” or “african american” cleaning lady. why single out her origin. does her nationality have something to do with the lack of toilet paper ?

  4. Funkymunky says:

    I’m Eastern European and I was not offended – in fact I knoew *exactly* what you mean and why you mentioned the cultural aspect 🙂

  5. L6941 says:

    Oh dear, here we go again. 🙂

    Stephania, I enjoy your articles. The warm water in the water fountain has happened to me, that was so disgusting!!!

  6. not_you_again_ says:

    What rock do you live under all your blog posts are cave man…grow up for crying out loud. Can you not write one blog without offending someone? Of course the racier your blogs the more page views the site gets and that I am sure is what the owner speaks right!…but still your posts suck!

  7. J says:

    I disagree. I’ve seen great gyms have groupon like deals. That’s how they bring in a new clientele. People feel good when they’re getting a deal.

    Plus top of the line restaurants are often on those deal sites, as well as great pubs and local favourites. It’s a good way to bring people in. THey are not losing money when they have these deals. The influx of people because of them more than makes up for the cheaper price.

  8. Funkymunky says:

    $110 per month is really pricey though, no? Unless of course you got 4-5 times a week and take full use of the facilities.. personal trainers would be extra as well, correct?

  9. C_mcarthur says:

    She does it on purpose guys… Shock value
    Anyway i was gonna say i agree with some of the shoddy deals on groupon arent always for the greatest stores/establishments

  10. T.M. says:

    Yes, it is pricey. I’m not rich, but this is a great way to for me to invest in my physical and mental health. You have to sign up for classes in advance, which, in addition to the price, motivates me to go 4 times a week. Personal trainers are present at every workout, at no extra cost, and the energy is great.

  11. someone says:

    your posts are getting REALLY lame… the incessant need to go for the shock value comments is not only predictable now, it’s sad.

  12. urouj862 says:

    the fitness facility sounds so terrible. You should contact thier managers or the main office and let them know, you’re prob not the only one who feels this way abt the facility. They need to know where they are going wrong.

  13. Funkymunky says:

    T.M. – that’s def a good deal then! Althought I pay $55 monthly, trainers are extra, probably over $100 just for that.. and I do like the idea of smaller classes and more personalized approach – it always motivates you more!

  14. T.M. says:

    Don’t know if all Crossfit gyms are as awesome as mine, but it’s definitely worth checking out. Good luck!

  15. Samantha C says:

    This post just makes me laugh, I like how whiled up everyone gets!

  16. Lily says:

    Agreeing with the others. Why do i click on these blog posts anyways? I think i’ll stop until you add some actual, un-racist, investment or smart consumer related content. Otherwise: start a blog about the musings of Stephania!

  17. Bytown says:

    The reactions and accusations of racism to this blog reminds me of the criticism the new Dove advertisement is getting.

    The word racism has become the most overused and abused word on Internet comment boards.

  18. newmom says:

    I’ve mostly had great deals with Groupon/Dealfinds/Living Social coffee places, I discovered some new ones and became a regular at some. Sushi places were excellent too with one exeption. I used one Calgary sushi place that I bought Dealfind this weekend, and I have never had such rude service. We were made feel like this server was doing us a great favor by letting us eat at this restaurant. People around were commenting on how rude the service was. In the end the server informed us and other dealfind customers around that we have to make sure to tip on the pre-dealfind amount. She actually pointed the amount on the bill and said, this is the amount you must tip on. This is one restaurant I will not be going back to. From the gym type groupons, I had awesome bootcamps, but bad Zumba classes.

  19. Funkymunky says:

    @Litesandsirens911 – “…I am starting to think even your parents didn’t like you” – that was absolutely uncalled for. Talk about “trashy rantings”, holy hypocrisy.

    It boggles my minds how much people complain online these days – if you don’t like it here, don’t let the door hit ya on the face! It’s a public blog, people can express opinions that will not correlate with yours. Don’t jump the racism/sexism/whatever else-ism bandwagon.

    Bytown has nailed it with his comment.

  20. not_you_again_ says:

    Its a deals blog ..this is not a deal but someone spewing there own uneducated opinion which should be left for her personal blog not a blog ABOUT DEALS!

  21. Litesandsirens911 says:

    @FunkyMonkey, you really should take a look at your blog comment history in the last 2 years, you’re just as bad…you must be the same type of person as Stephania, since you are both narrow minded people

  22. Sunraven says:

    Stephania, were you not hugged enough as a kid or something? Are you an
    Ann Coulter wannabe?

    The site owner should be ashamed of himself for allowing this blogger to post this sort of filth on SC. It’s a complete sell out and all in the name of page views.


  23. Eric says:

    I’ve never paid for a gym membership, nor do I think I ever will. Between the wife and I working nights, then kids during the day, there’s no way we can justify shelling out money to run or lift weights when we can’t really get there enough times a week to make it worth it. Besides, outside has all the walking I need (no car after all), and the kids provide me with enough daily weight lifting as it is.

  24. Karen says:

    Seriously? Calling out an Eastern European cleaning lady the post after a derogatory comment about gypsies? These posts are so frustrating, and not why I visit this site… if you’re going to make fun of a 30 day gym trial you got, why not research 30 day gym trials in general, rather than just complaining? Did you know, for instance, that MOST gyms will offer you a 30 day trial? Or at least a one week trial? All you need to do is ask. I had a trial at a gym that costs ~ $80 per month. Afterwards, they gave me three months at 40 dollars… as an extension of the trial. Gyms are one of the best places to get deals that aren’t advertised. THAT sounds like something that should be on this blog – not complaining about KFC and bragging about how in shape you are.

  25. Nic says:

    I would encourage everyone to read the TOS, especially 6.a.
    There is contact info if you feel a TOS has been violated, at the end of the document.

  26. Funkymunky says:

    @Litesandsirens911 please do not tell me what to do or not to do, as well as what to say, thanks. If you will continue with personal attacks, I will notify the owners of this blog.

  27. AD says:

    So it’s pretty obvious that the author writes posts not to educate consumers on anything deal or money related, but to stir up controversy. She admitted herself on her last posting that she’s glad she didn’t learn political correctness in class, or she wouldn’t have received “1 single, solitary comment on this post.” If your writing is good, and your topic is something readers can relate to, there is no reason that they WON’T comment, if only to say “great article!” or “thanks for the info!” So yes, if shock value is what you’re going for, you’re getting it. But at the cost of respect…

    Just my two cents (which I’m sure someone will point out are unnecessary).

  28. LadyDi says:

    I asked people to give you a break yesterday on the gypsy issue. I retract that today. Whatever reason you have for referencing ethnicity and sexual orientation, it is still inappropriate and offensive. It seriously detracts from an otherwise good article. You’re a better writer than than.

  29. Amy says:

    Men’s Journal mentioned that an average commercial health club requires membership of 10 times its capacity to be profitable. i.e. a gym operates 100 hours a week, an average member must not access the facility for more than 10 hours a week. Besides, they want to keep it look empty so new people would want to sign up. Their target is to get those who’d use it once or twice a week. It is actually their goal to lure you in and then push you out.

    I’d suggest my fellow Canucks try recreation centres offered by your cities. Cost about $250-400 a year with no additional per-use-fee. Those in BC area can now get $50 government subsidy for the membership.

    p.s. “Eastern European Cleaning Lady eating KFC” sounds like a very specific porn category, hot. LOL.

  30. lands13 says:

    I am so green!!! lmao. I read the article and came out wondering how Stephania would know a Gay Bathhouse is dark?? haha jeesh.

  31. Dayanara says:

    Pay no attention to the negative comments, your posts are great. I understand why you use terms you do, it helps set the scene IMO. I knew EXACTLY what you meant.

    Anyhow, back on topic…

    I find some of the Groupon/Living Social/etc etc to be AMAZING, but just as there are those deals there are ones that are the complete opposite. I try to look for reviews on places I have never tried before I purchase the deal. Sometimes it helps, other times not so much.

  32. C says:

    Please stop. I backed you up one time before when you said something that offended others, saying that you probably didn’t mean to, but you keep doing it and I’m getting sick of it. You’re not a comedian, and we don’t want to hear your randomly-injected controversy-stirrers.

    Whoever is in charge of blogs, PLEASE remove her from being allowed to write blogs. I’m so sick of reading this crap.

  33. Tess says:

    How on earth are the ethnicity of the cleaning lady or your idea of what a bathhouse are like anywhere near relevant to the service you didn’t pay for at a gym?
    If this were posted by someone who wasn’t a staff writer, they would be TOS’ed. Why aren’t you?

  34. Funkymunky says:

    still have no answer to why not just stop reading this blog if it’s so terrible, rude and offends your Easter European and Gypsy roots? *patiently waiting*

  35. ForWhatItsWorth says:

    STOP all the arguing and just take this post for what it is – not very good, and move on.

    Stephania – don’t try so hard to be funny, it REALLY shows. Educate us with your observations, not your humour.

  36. Nic says:

    Also, if you are seriously offended, I’d suggest contacting advertisers listed here to let them know why you are offended. Nothing hits a site owner more than in the wallet.

  37. Joe says:

    I work out at Goodlife (in Toronto). The morning receptionist at Yonge and St Clair – Wendy – is absolutely wonderful.
    What a huge difference it makes to have someone who is ALWAYS in a great mood and ALWAYS glad to see a client come in to their business! The feeling of being welcomed – and your business is appreciated – always puts me in a better mood (which can be difficult at 6:00 am). I find I notice problems or repairs less at this location – it doesn’t bother me as much.

    I wish all Goodlife locations (actually, every business, not just gyms) followed the same protocol.

  38. tudorchick says:

    i have a month to month membership at mine,it is a brand new facility that we were really lucky to get in my town.before that we had a gym that was run by a bunch of snobs that looked down on you for not being 100lbs and could pump over your body weight….ugh…i wasn’t even fat,these people were just snobby,uptown types…

    my membership is 24 a month all inclusive.this includes the pool,steamroom,gym,classes,running track and free drop in sports.daycare is only $4 an hour so even if i have the 4 year old i can get some time in,everyone is friendly and will help you out if you look like you are clueless in a very nice way.trainers actually care about your goals and give you a good regimen suited to you…

    i have to agree that race and sexual orientation have no relevance to the story…

  39. Andrew says:

    “Even though you’ve pointed it out to the Eastern European Cleaning Lady.”

    “You see the Cleaning Lady eating KFC in the lounge area. I realise that her job is to clean, but doesn’t that send the wrong message to its members?”

    You know you’re a racist when…

  40. AD says:


    This is the first page that shows up when you come to smartcanucks…it’s kind of hard to bypass a blog post that’s in your face.

    And as for “why not just stop reading?”…doesn’t that fall in the same vein as telling someone what to do, which is exactly what you told @Litesandsirens911 not to tell you to do?

  41. Hoot says:

    Go Stephania Go!
    Great posts

  42. TallNFunny says:

    I still enjoy the site very much and find it very valuable. People have every right to (justifyably) find these blogs offensive, but easy enough just to stop browsing the site or to just scroll past Stephania’s posts.

  43. alisa says:

    I agree that some of the references in this post were unwarranted. Are you implying that because the person was Eastern European, they’re too stupid to understand you? Or is this a commentary on the gym hiring someone who doesn’t speak English? If so, do you not feel that people who doesn’t speak perfect English shouldn’t be hired?
    Also, did you consider the idea that maybe they ran out of T.P. again? Could be a coincidence, but maybe not. I have been to three separate gyms and all three, regardless of quality, have the ‘Don’t shave etc.’ notice. I’m assuming this is your first time attempting a fitness activity so you just don’t know any better.
    Finally, if a cleaner eating KFC is going to demotivate you or interfere with your experience, you really shouldn’t be going to a gym at all. I won’t even comment on your “gay” reference because drawing attention to something so ill-mannered and tactless is futile.
    The warm water part is pretty gross though, and I’m guessing it sits in those pipes very long, which is a health concern. All in all, less offensive stuff and more focused reviewing, please.

  44. Mara says:

    Stephania, you’re a good writer and your posts stir are very opinionated {which is good because it creates dialogue within the SmartCanucks community), but why do all your posts complain/point out flaws? Is SmartCanucks a way for you to vent your frustrations on things that don’t flow perfectly in your life? I hope this isn’t a “what grinds my gears” column that you write regulary. I would like to see some articles with more substance – not just rants of frustration disguised in interesting and detailed prose.

  45. okay there says:

    “Absolutely no need to mention her ethnicity at all, or “gay” bath houses.” – T.M.

    ^ Agreed. Reminds me of that “asians in the library” thing on youtube- just unnecessary and rude. I mean we live in Canada, such a diverse country known for it’s politeness- and you rudely single out people because of something like race or sexual orientation? So before you ask people not to personally “attack” you I’d be a bit careful about the things I write. Guess I too will just to scroll past such posts, cause I really do like SC.

  46. Karen says:

    Thanks, Bye Bye!

  47. Lennea says:

    Wow … I usually do not bother to comment on offensive blogs, I usually just move on.

    In this case, Stephania, you have thoroughly offended me two days in a row with your use of racist language and I feel the need to speak up.

    What is with your racism and hate mongering?

    Can you spin anything in a positive fashion?

    Hate isn’t cute or funny!

    Your Groupon like coupon comment also makes no sense. Lots of great companies offer their items through discount coupons .. It is a type of advertising just like the coupons we come to this site to collect.

    I really wish your articles would stop coming up on my RSS feed as they just leave me feeling angry … Again why spread to hate?

    How many people are you affecting with your negativity, racism and derogatory comments? Is that what you want to have as a legacy from your creativity? Why sink to this level?

    Words matter! Offending people and making them feel alienated and discriminated against matters!

    To Smartcanucks: Please stop supporting blogs that spread racism and hate… I really enjoy the rest of this site and do not want to have to stop using it.

    Bottom line : Racism & Sexism are WRONG period!

  48. AD says:

    I just find it ironic that there’s such a thorough positivity effort on the brag forum as of late – putting down anyone that’s being “negative” or criticizing people who “abuse coupons”, and all these comments saying if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all…and on blog posts by this author, its like anything goes. What a disconnect on the same site…

  49. Ellie says:

    Stephania, is your last name Plotnik? If so, you were my Grade 4 teacher!

  50. Dealmaker says:

    Seriously… these Stepania posts are just not suited for this website. We want eals and consumer info. None of her posts have been informative.

    Either create your own blog or if you’re the owner, create a new section for discussions of this type. I won’t visit the site anymore if this continues.

  51. jamesgreenspan says:

    Discount coupons are always and if you are a foodie like me, then it will be tempting for me to inspire me go those lovely restaurants that fulfils my desire


  52. kittyboots says:

    Love this post – too funny. Just like watching Saturday Night Live!!!!

  53. hollers says:

    I would like to add my name to the list of long-time SmartCanucks users who are beyond offended with this post. I come on this website for deals, not for intolerance. Perhaps you think that using minority groups for humour only affects the minority, but it is truly an insult to every thinking, caring individual. It is these types of “it was just a joke” postings that cause actual harm in the physical world. Enough already.

  54. helpit says:

    Wow! Guys relax! Seriously!
    Stephania- your writing gives away your age, demeanor and maturity level, I would guess around 14 years old? I don’t believe for a moment that you are racist or anything remotely derogatory. I think that you don’t have the experience or skill to project the humour or images that you are trying to convey. (Bath House would have been just as funny, people would have known what you meant. When you put in ‘gay’ it’s unnecessary and offensive)
    People are very reactionary automatically calling you a racist and homophobic etc.
    If they hear your voice through your writing it comes off as diary entries of a teenager and her inexperienced world view. I know this comes across as a backhanded comment (no folks she’s not remotely racist, just bratty) Sorry if thats offensive, but, I don’t think its false. You, through your writing, sound bratty and overindulged, whiny, but, not racist!

    In fact, I’ve read all your stuff on here and it all has the same voice, you sound like an immature, one dimensional character on Sex and the City or any other girl-type show/movie.
    Sorry to keep going on, but after keeping quiet after reading your posts, I’ve been meaning to say something…

  55. anon says:

    The writer clearly knows these comments are inappropriate and does not care…my opinion of this blog has dropped precipitously in a very short time, please stop and think of the people that are offended and don’t write them off as being ‘too sensitive’, its pretty easy to keep things the status quo with that excuse, all sorts of ‘-isms’ exist and had people never stood up and said ‘this is wrong’ and gotten the backlash we’d live in a very different society.

  56. Sally says:

    Really? I dont have the patience for all this nonsense bickering. If anything it was just as a detail in the story. At what point in time did it become unpolitically correct to describe ones ethincity? Would of it been different if she had said white cleaning lady? No noone would of said boo. How sad is that.

    Anyways Im locking comments because I am truly sick and tired of people attacking each other and being so nasty to each other.


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